Underground Feelings
by TheWriter12345
Summary: Life in the Underground was fine for Michelle, especially when she met her new friends, Farlan, Isabel, and Levi who help her out. Until they are captured by the Survery Corps. The group is ripped apart, Michelle vows to return, and find them. Only what happened to her friends? She must fight to keep some things the same. LevixOC. Rated M for violence, swearing, and sex scenes.
1. The Beginning

No one could have predicted that life could have changed that day. It started out so normal. It was the job that got us. _Damned aboveground people. _We could have lived the rest of our life in peace. That would make a wonderful reputation for us. _Captured. _  
"I'll ask a few questions. First off. Where did you get this?" the tall blonde haired guy asked.

I looked up seeing he was referring to the 3DM gear. I glanced at Levi. He didn't respond. His head still hung down, black raven hair in his face.

"You guys are very skilled with 3D Maneuver Gear. Who taught you all that?"

Still no answer. I opened my mouth the say something, but Farlan nudged me. I threw him a look, before returning my gaze to the ground. I heard footsteps approaching us.

"You're the leader right? Were you trained in the military?"

This guy really didn't know when to quit. I scowled, trying not to speak. Trying even harder not to reach for the knife tucked in my side.

Suddenly, a grunt was let out followed by a loud splash. I turned to see Levi's head now being smashed into a dirty puddle. I gritted my teeth, as we looked on in horror.

"You-!" Isabel exclaimed.

"I'll ask you one more time. Where did you learn to use the 3D Maneuver gear?"

"We taught ourselves you bastard!" I yelled.

I heard footsteps behind me, but the blonde guy waved his hand to stop them.

"She's right. We didn't learn from anyone! We learnt it ourselves!" Farlan exclaimed.

"Self-taught you say? I don't buy it."

"It's just so we're able to rise even a bit in this dirty garbage filled place! People who are used to sunlight like you guys won't understand!" Farlan yelled.

"That's enough! Let Bro go! Don't be cocky just because you are soldier!" Isabel yelled.

"This is ridiculous! I don't feel this is a Survey Corps problem, stopping us in an underground city like this." I scowled.

He turned, looking at Levi. The guy behind him lifted his head back up.

"Levi." I mumbled, turning to look at him.

I couldn't help being concerned. He threw me a look, before returning his gaze back to the leader.

The leader bent down in front of him.

"My name is Erwin Smith. And yours is?" Erwin asked him.

"Levi." He muttered.

"Levi. I was sure I heard the girl right. Now, why don't we make a deal?" he asked.

"A deal?"

"I will let your crimes go unpunished. In return, you lend me your strength. Join the Survey Corps."

We all looked at him in surprise. It was evident on Levi's face. I knew he wouldn't take it. He wouldn't risk it.

"And if I refuse?" Levi asked.

"The Military Police will have you, and your little group. Considering all of your crimes, you four won't be treated very nicely."

He got up, walking away.

"Oh, And there is one more condition to the deal. I'd hate to split up your group, but one of you has to come with me." Erwin said, looking back over his shoulder.

We looked at him in surprise again. I could feel his eyes on me.

"A certain Military Police friend of mine seems to be missing his daughter. She goes by, Michelle Strauss."

Farlan and Isabel turned, looking at me in disbelief. Levi glanced at me.

"Are you a spy?" Farlan asked.

"No! That bastard of a father never cared for me. He wanted me to join the Military Police, but I refused, and ran away. There's more to life that following a preset plan. I'm not going back to him!" I exclaimed, turning back to Erwin.

Out of anger, I tried reaching for the knife, but the girl behind me saw, and kicked me forward, making the knife drop. My head hit the road hard. I cringed, crying out in pain.

"Michelle!" Isabel cried out.

"You bastard! There was no reason for that!" Farlan shouted.

"She had a knife sir." The girl replied, looking at Erwin.

"I thought I told you to check them." Erwin replied, narrowing his gaze at her.

He walked over, picking me up, putting me on my feet. It hurt standing when my knees were bruised and bleeding. I cringed, trying not the cry. _No crying, remember? _He held my arm, holding me up from falling.

"That part in nonnegotiable. You're coming with us either way. Just the condition might differ." He said, looking at me.

He turned back to Levi, who seemed to have increased his death glare at Erwin. His grip tightened on my arm, and I winced.

"Choose whatever you want. But choose wisely, because it will be the condition of this girl, if you choose wrong."

I looked at him, trying to hold back the tears, but a few slipped out. Levi looked down at the ground.

"Levi…"I croaked.

"Fine." Levi finally said.

Farlan and Isabel gasped in disbelief. Levi spit off to the side, getting rid of the murky water on his face.

"I'll join the Survey Corps."

"Levi, you-." Isabel started.

"It's final."

"Mike! Take the girl back to the carriage. I'm sure we'll have to patch her up, before turning her over to her father. I hear he has already enlisted you into the Corps." Erwin said, shoving me at another guy.

"Got it, Sir."

I scowled at him, as the other two help Isabel, Farlan, and Levi to their feet. The guy Mike shoved me forward, and I stumbled.

"Michelle! We'll find you, we swear!" I heard Isabel yell.

I turned to look at him. Isabel was fighting tears back. Farlan looked angry. And Levi… Levi had this expression on his face I have never seen. Sadness? Guilt? I couldn't identify it. I nodded to him.

"I'll return to you guys I swear! I bet my life on it!" I yelled, being pushed farther down the road, towards the gates to the above ground world.

_I will find you guys I swear. _

_**Hey my lovelies! As promised, here is my origin story for Michelle! I hope you all enjoy! **_


	2. The Confrontation

*3 years later*

As we approached the Survey Corps Headquarters, Mika and Christopher were peering out the carriage window. They seemed too jumpy given we had just joined. Jonathon and Raoul sat calmly on either side of me, as I sat with my arms crossed, trying not to show my excitement. _I'll find you guys I swear._

"Can you believe it guys? We're actually starting today!" Mika exclaimed.

"Yes. Very exciting." I mumbled.

"Aren't you excited too?" Christopher asked.

"Sure, you could say that." I rolled my eyes, looking out the other side of the carriage.

"Come on, Michelle! Brighten up." Mika smiled, poking my knee.

I pulled it away, crossing my legs.

"Give her some space. Not all of us are like you guys." Raoul replied, scowling at them.

Mika stuck her tongue out at him, as she turned back to the window.

"Didn't you say you had friends in here, Michelle?" Mika asked.

"Yeah… I do. I hope they are still here…" I sighed.

"I'm sure they-!" Christopher started, before the carriage lurched to a stop.

"We're here! Everyone out!" the driver yelled.

Mika was the first the open the door, as we all filed out. When we got out, I saw the driver had a familiar mustache, with a mope of blonde hair. He hopped down, walking over to us, with a scowl on his face.

"Mike, right?" I asked.

His scowl turned into a smirk.

"Well, I'll be damned. You're that underground brat we dealt with 3 years ago. I remember your little group. Never thought I would see you here though. Thought daddy would keep you to the Military Police." He joked.

"Nah. The old man croaked last year. You're stuck with all of us now."

"Well… I wouldn't saw all." He replied, rubbing his neck.

I looked at him confused.

"What do you-?" I started.

"Alright! New cadets! Front and center!" a voice yelled.

We all saluted, turning towards the voice. I knew it sounded familiar. Erwin Smith. A girl I didn't recognize, followed behind him.

"At ease now." He said.

Hands at our side now, we all exchanged glances before looking back at Erwin.

"As I know all you were at in the top 10 of your class, I expect you all to work even harder in the Survey Corps. I'll be assigning you all the Squad Leader Hanji's squad. Hanji, you can take over." Erwin said, turning to the girl.

"Alright! Will do Commander!" She exclaimed.

As he nodded, turning to leave, his eyes met mine. He looked at me surprised before walking up to me. I quickly saluted him, trying to look away.

"Cadet, look at me." He said in a stern voice.

"Yes. Sir."

"You're Cadet Michelle Strauss, am I correct?" he asked.

"Yes Sir. That is me."

He smirked, before turning around. I looked at him confused. I could feel everyone's eyes on me as well.

"Nice seeing you again. Michelle."

I blinked in confused, as I watched him walk away.

"Well. I guess I will continue. As you know, my name is Squad Leader Hanji! I've been a member of the Survey Corps for a while! Now. What are your names?" she asked, hands on her hips.

"Michelle Strauss." I stepped forward.

"Raoul Lennox."

"Jonathon Adler."

"Mika Bayer."

"Cristopher Ritter."

"Well, I'm happy to have you all on my squad. Come on, I'll show you around. And then we'll end with lunch! Follow me!" she exclaimed, waving us forward towards the building.

It reminded me a lot of the Cadet Corps building only bigger. She walked us through the dormitories, the training grounds, the main buildings where a few offices were, and the mess hall. All the while, talking up a storm about the experiments she was doing on her new batch of titans she had gotten. Honestly, it creeped me out, but I listened.

"Well… Now that we are at the mess hall, we shall eat lunch! Cadet Michelle! If you want I can continue explaining how I-." Hanji exclaimed.

"No, that's quite alright. I'm sure we are all good, and understand perfectly." I replied, waving my hands.

I looked back at the others, and Mika looked ready to barf.

"Aww. Okay! I'll continue later then!"

"Hanji. You should really know when to quit. I'm sure these brats have heard enough of your stupid rants." A low voice growled.

We all turned to see a short man walking towards us with a familiar mop of black short hair. My eyes widened. Relief washed over me.

"Awww. Levi. You're no fun! Cadet Strauss here seemed to really enjoy my talking." Hanji giggled, pulling me into her.

I tripped slightly, as she wrapped one arm around me.

"Cadet Strauss? That's right. The new cadets today." Levi said, narrowing his eyes on me.

_Didn't he remember me? _I looked at him, confused.

"You're Lance Corporal Levi!" Jonathon exclaimed.

"Yeah. What of it, brat?" Levi scowled.

Suddenly, all four of them saluted him, looks of disbelief on their faces. I tried pulling away from Hanji, but her grip around me was tight.

"Hanji, let Cadet Strauss go before you completely strangle her." Levi sighed, walking past us, entering the mess hall.

I finally freed myself from her grip, joining the others as they looked at me confused.

"Oi. I've never seen shorty show interest in a cadet like that. He must like you!" Hanji exclaimed, putting her hands on my shoulder.

I couldn't help blushing, looking away. _No way. I'm just an old friend. _

"That couldn't be it. He was probably just being nice for your sake."

"I don't see why he wouldn't like you! You're shorter than he is, which is rare. How old are you?"

"I'm… 21…"

"Eh. A little old being a cadet, but still young!"

"What's that supposed to-?" I retorted.

"Ummm. Not to be rude, but can we eat now. I'm starving!" Mika interrupted.

"Oh yeah… Come on my cadets! Let us continue into the mess hall!" Hanji realized, marching to the door, pushing the open.

We followed her in, seeing the rest of the Survey Corps glaring at us. I tried to act composed, keeping my arms at my sides, and walking proudly. Though, the murmurs couldn't be avoided from the other members.

"Looks like new cadets."

"It seems to get less every time."

"I hear they were assigned to Hanji."

"Good luck to them."

"That redhead is kind of cute."

I blushed, trying to continue my composure. Raoul looked down at me, but I waved him off. Suddenly, I felt an arm snake around my shoulder.

"Hey there, Cutie. How do you like the Survey Corps so far?" a tall guy asked, smirking.

"Just fine thanks." I scoffed, trying to walk away.

"Is that any way to treat someone of high rank, sweetheart?"

"I would like to leave now. Please let go of me."

"Not until get a name, and a dorm number."

I cringed in disgust, when I suddenly felt a hand grab my butt. My eyes narrowed, as I grabbed the hand, twisting it backwards, and forcing the person to their knees. The guy whose arm was around me, now was gone. I looked down at his friend. Raoul towered over the guy, putting a hand firmly on his shoulder, forcing him down. He growled at the guy, making him cower. Jonathon backed him up

"Whoa whoa! Calm down!" the guy exclaimed.

"Hey! Just let him go! We were just messing around with ya."

"Don't ever fucking touch me, you hear?!" I whispered harshly into his ear.

"Okay! I hear ya!" he exclaimed.

"Michelle! Let him go." A voice barked out.

I looked up, seeing Levi standing a few feet from me. The stoic look that was always on his face looked more twisted into a scowl. I released the guy's arm, and they both left. Raoul stood beside me.

"I'm okay. Go join the others." I told him.

I couldn't stop staring at Levi. I had seen this look before. Many times. It was still burned in my memory.

"Got it." Raoul left my side, pushing Christopher and Mika away from me with Jonathon's help.

"I'll expect you to be more respectful in the future unless you want to find yourself in my office, cleaning it for a week." He grunted, before leaving.

I clenched my fists.

"Maybe you should be careful of your perverted troops then." I retorted.

Everything stopped. Noise, people moving, everything. Levi stopped, but didn't turn around. My fists still clenched.

"What did you say?" he asked.

"I said, maybe you should be careful of your perverted troops who like to assault new cadets." I said, through gritted teeth.

Levi turned around approaching me. He stood inches away now, when we were suddenly, pushed back. Hanji stood in between us.

"He-Hey now. Let's not get a riled up! Let's all just be friends, right?!" she exclaimed nervously.

"I'll thank you for being kind Squad Leader Hanji. But I don't think I am hungry anymore. I'll be going to my room now." I scowled, walking away.

"Wait! Michelle! I'm sure Shorty didn't-ow! Don't hit me!" Hanji called out, before she started yelling at someone else.

I walked out the dining hall, running down the hall, and outside. The dorms weren't far, but I felt my lungs about to burst. When I got the dorms, I found the room on the first floor with mine, and Mika's name on it. Slamming the door behind me, I collapsed onto a bed. Breathing heavily.

_Stupid Levi. Stupid Survey Corps. Stupid EVERYTHING! Where's Isabel when you need her… Oh Levi… what's happened to you?_


	3. The memory

_The Underground was harsh. No one truly lived. Only Survived. The darkness was comforting sometimes. But not today. Suddenly, I was being backed up again a wall. I lashed out with my knife, only to have it swatted away. Feeling around me for any weapon, I found none. I was majorly screwed._

"_What's wrong sweetheart? Got other plans? You don't want to hang out with us?" the first guy, Brutus cackled. _

"_Awww she must be scared by your ugly voice." The second guy Raymond laughed, getting closer to my face._

_I spit in his face, causing him to fall backwards. _

"_Hey you little bitch! You're going to get it now!" he yelled. _

_He threw a punch, but I ducked, getting low to the ground, trying to trip him. He tumbled, causing Brutus to try and grab me, but I spun out of the way, throwing a punch to his gut. He doubled over, grabbing his stomach. I smirked, going to escape, when I felt something grab my wrists. It pulled me back, until I bumped into something solid. _

"_I don't think this is a fair fight, huh dollface?" a rough voice asked. _

_I looked behind, my eyes widened. I could feel him smirking, as I stiffened against him. _

"_Not you again." I scoffed. _

"_The one and only." Johnny cackled. _

"_Boss! She was being a tough one! What should we do to her?" Raymond cringed, standing up. _

"_What we do to all the other brats that steal from us." He smirked. _

_I gasped, struggling now. __**I'm not dying today, that's for sure.  
**__"Aww boss, why don't we have a little fun with her first?" Raymond sneered. _

_He approached me, grabbing the top of my shirt, ripping it. I cringed, looking at my chest now showing. Tears pricked my eyes, as I tried not to move more. _

"_Ohh. She's got a cute bra. I wonder what-." Brutus smirked, reaching for my skirt. _

"_Alright boys, that's enough. Let's take her back to the place before we do anything else." Johnny laughed. __**  
**__He continued walking me forward, when I suddenly heard the zipping and hissing of something coming towards us. Suddenly, two forms flew past us, and I heard loud grunt. Johnny turned us around to see Raymond and Brutus now sprawled out on the alley ground. Two figures stood in front of them. _

"_Wasn't as hard as I thought!" a high pitched voice piped up. _

"_Yeah. Easier definitely." A lower voice responded. _

_Johnny pulled out a hand gun, pointing it at the figures, then at my head. They turned looking at us. I looked up, wondering who these people could be. _

"_Hey! Who do you punks think you're doing messing with my business?!" Johnny shouted. _

"_That depends who you are asking." A low, rough voice asked, from behind us. _

_The zipping was heard again, and Johnny stumbled, causing me to fall, and him to lose his grip. I fell to the ground, grunting hard on impact. I immediately gripped my chest, not wanting anymore unwanted eyes to see. _

"_Oh my! Are you alright?!" one figure approached me. _

_I saw it was a light brown haired girl, dressed in a red shirt with black pants. She bent down, helping me up. _

"_Levi! You have to be careful!" she exclaimed. _

"_She shouldn't have gotten into this situation." A new voice replied. _

_A guy appeared now, holding Johnny's gun. He was short, with black hair with a white dress shirt, red vest, and black pants. He this hardened stoic look on his face. The other figure approached with blonde hair, and same get up, but a blue vest. Though the blonde haired guy was taller, and looked less frightening. He approached me and the girl, leaving the black haired guy in a standoff with Johnny. I clung to the girl, desperately. _

"_That's not wise…" I warned. _

"_He knows what he's doing." The blonde haired boy smirked. _

"_Hey! You punks! Give me my gun back if you know what's good for you!" Johnny shouted. _

_He ran at us, and like lightning, the black haired guy pointed the gun at him. Johnny stopped. _

"_Yo! Watch where you point that thing!" he shouted. _

"_I suggest you turn, and leave then. Now." He growled. _

"_Okay. Okay. I'm leaving! But you will regret doing this." Johnny scowled, before running off. _

"_Wait! Boss! Wait for us!" Raymond and Brutus ran after him, throwing a look at him. _

_I sighed, relaxing that they were finally gone. _

"_Are you okay, now?" the girl asked me. _

"_Yeah… Thanks back there." I replied. _

_I kept a grip on my shirt, flustered. This day couldn't get any worse could it?_

"_Here." _

_I looked up, seeing the outstretched arm of the black haired guy. He was handing me his vest. I took it hesitantly, pulling it on, and buttoning it up. Thankfully, it covered a good amount of my chest. _

"_Why were they harassing you?" the blonde haired guy asked. _

"_I… Uh… stole from them. My food was running low, and its hard collecting it by myself…" I admitted. _

"_You're alone?" the girl looked surprised. _

"_Yeah. But I'm okay. I mean- its fine." I shrugged, standing up. _

_Suddenly, a pain shot through my leg, and I cringed, falling back over. _

"_You must had hurt your ankle! You should come with us, and we will patch it up." She exclaimed. _

"_It's fine really I can-." I started. _

"_Farlan, pick her up. And don't do anything pervy to her." The girl demanded, eyes narrowed at the blonde haired guy. _

"_Hey! I'm not pervy!" Farlan exclaimed. _

"_Let's just go, before those idiots feel the need to come back." The black haired guy I assumed now as Levi said, throwing the gun aside. _

"_F-Fine." Farlan stuttered, walking over to me. _

_He bent down, picking me up to hold me against him in one arm._

"_Just hold onto my neck okay?" _

_I did, trying not to be flustered. _

"_Oh, I'm Isabel by the way. I'm assuming you know Farlan now. And this is Levi!" Isabel smiled. _

"_N-Nice to meet you guys." _

"_Just hold on okay? The gear is a bit hard to handle with another person." _

_With that, we were shooting through the air. The zipping and hissing of the lines shooting met my ears. I held on tightly. __**They had 3DM gear from the Military. **_

I sat up in bed. _I hadn't thought about that in so long... _Running my fingers through my hair, I sat up, resting my elbows on my knees. I felt something wet running down my face. _Was I crying? _

A knock came to the door. My head shot up, wiping the tears from my face.

"C-Come in!" I replied.

The door open, and I saw it was Hanji. I stood up, calmed down.

"Hey. We missed you this afternoon. Erwin said to leave you alone, but I wanted to come check on you. It's dinner now. Are you hungry?" she asked.

"I'm fine… I'm not too hungry… I'm surprised he let me off the hook." I sighed.

"Also, shorty wanted me to get you. He wants to talk to you privately." Hanji smirked.

"I take it that's the nickname for Levi. I might as well go now."

"I knew it! I was right! You guys do know each other! Spill it!"

Hanji gripped my shoulders, literally shaking in anticipation.

"I… don't know what you are talking about…" I stuttered looking away.

"Oh come on! It's okay to tell me! Are you from his thug days?"

My eyes widened, as I looked at her now.

"You… know about those?"

"Well of course. Well…. A few know about it. Not the entire Corps. But I take that as a yes! Were you friends with Isabel and Farlan?"

"Yeah. I know they came with him, but I haven't seen them. Are they okay?" I asked.

Hanji pulled away, with a confused look on her face, then a sympathetic smile.

"They are safe. I'll let shorty tell you the rest." She replied, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"I don't even know if I want to see him… He seems so cold, and heartless now…" I pulled away, turning around.

"Hasn't he always been like that?"

"Yes… Well… not this bad. He was more able to show his feelings back then to the ones he knew well… Hanji. You know him. What happened?"

"That's not for me to say. Just go talk to him. I wouldn't keep him waiting." Hanji said, leading me to the door.

"Okay." I sighed.

I followed Hanji outside, the night air nipping at me. Two guards stood silent at the entrance into the main building. When Hanji appeared, they both bowed. She pulled me along, until we came to a door with Levi's name printed on.

"Just knock. I got to get going. Good luck." Hanji winked at me, waving.

I sighed, raising my hand up, knocking three times. _What could he possibly want? _

"Name and business?" a low voice called out.

"Michelle Strauss. And I was asked to-." I started.

"Come in." the voice interrupted me.

Hesitating to grab the handle, I turned it, opening the door. The office had a nice set up. Window on the far wall with a book shelf on the left, and a couch on the right. A door was on the right wall, probably a closet, but another door was opposite leading to who knows where. A fire place rested on the right wall, and a desk in front of the bookshelf. There, at the desk, with papers in neat piles, was Levi. He was looking over a paper, not bothering to look up. One hand tightly gripped a quill pen, the other held the paper. _Is he not going to acknowledge me? Damn. I guess I should talk first._

"What is it that you needed Levi?" I asked, arms crossed in front of me.

"Tch." He clicked his tongue, getting up from his chair. "Is that any way to address me? Anyone ever tell you to respect your leaders?"

"I don't respect people who act like they don't know me, after I spent all this time trying to find them." I scowled.

Levi stopped, a meter away from me.

"I would have rather you not have come. It's not safe for you here."

"I was top of my class in my graduating Cadets group. Don't tell me it's not for me. I know 3DM gear better than any of these sad saps, and you know that." I scoffed, turning away.

"Why are you acting like a complete brat?"

I turned back to him. His face unfazed, still stuck in that stupid stoic look of his.

"I'm not. Not if you knew I had to go through to get here. Do you think it was easy being separated from you, Farlan, and Isabel? And to think, I get here, only to have one of the only friends I thought had, act like he didn't know me, and to have sexual advances put on me by a Survey Corps member, and have said friend, defend him." I yelled.

Levi stopped, his face changed.

"Sexual… Advances?" he questioned.

"Earlier today, when that guy tried to touch me, and I took him down. You yelled at me, like it was my fault. I even chastised you about it, and you ignored me. Some friend and leader you are." I turned away from him.

_Just thinking about that creep made my blood boil. _

"If you are talking about this afternoon, I already dealt with that." Levi replied.

I froze where I stood.

"You know I called you here to have you change your mind about joining. But it seems your mind can't be changed."

Footsteps walking away from me, rang in my ears. I turned around to face Levi, as he was sitting down.

"Tell me something. You are going through an awful lot of trouble to get me to leave. Why?"

Our eyes met. His steely grey eyes, trained on me. Searching for the right way to respond. _He's actually thinking before he says anything. This better be a good answer then. _

"Because, I don't need to lose any more troops outside the walls. You can go now Cadet Strauss." He waved me off.

_That's it? _I didn't budge, as he continued writing something down onto a piece of paper. _Damn it. I still haven't found out about Isabel or Farlan._

"No one will tell me about Farlan or Isabel. And I haven't seen them once since I got here. Tell me, where are they?"

He stopped writing looking at me. His stoic look softened a bit. His eyes changed. They looked…. Sad? _No that can't be right._

"They are somewhere safe, away from here. I'll ask you to leave now." He asked.

I gripped my hands into fists, scowling at him.

_I didn't come all this way to be rejected by one friend, and to not know the whereabouts of two other friends. This can't be happening. _

"Fine. But just the let you know. You are losing me as a friend. I hope you enjoy yourself now." I muttered, leaving Levi alone in his office.

_If he doesn't want to trust me anymore, and he wants to push me away, fine. So be it. I'll prove to him though. That I am the best damn soldier there is. He'll see. _


	4. The Encounter

Weeks past. It all seem blended together. Training wasn't easy, but most the time, it was spent outside the wall helping Hanji try and catch a titan. _At least I didn't see Levi at all… _  
We ended up catching three of them, much to Hanji's delight. She wasn't happy when I had to put one down because it went after Mika. But we got them back, safe, without a single causality. A team was currently helping Hanji tack and tie down the two titans in the area they had sealed off.

"Are you sure this is truly safe, Michelle?" Christopher asked, looking nervously at the two titans.

I huffed, turning away, watching the work more carefully.

"Yes, it's completely fine. Stop cowering." Raoul snapped.

"Raoul. It's okay." I put a hand on his shoulder, calming him.

He sighed, nodding, then returning to help Hanji.

"Geez, I was asking Michelle! What's your problem?" Christopher exclaimed.

"Guys, stop it. She isn't in the mood." Mika spoke up.

"There! We're all done! If you guys wish to go get lunch from the hall you can now." Hanji approached us.

"Sweet! Let's go!" Mika exclaimed.

I heard them leave. My eyes still trained on the titans. They seemed really rowdy right now. _Hmm… I wonder… _Suddenly, a hand clamped down on my shoulder, making me jump. Whipping around, I saw it was Jonathon towering over me.

"Oi, you almost gave me a damned heart attack!"

"Are you coming?"

I looked away, sighing, my heart still beating fast.

"No. Go on without me."

"You have been acting weird since you got here. What's wrong with you?"

"Hah… You really know how to comfort someone." I scoffed.

"I'm asking as a friend. Did it have something to do with Lance Corporal Levi?" He asked.

I looked up, my eyes narrowed on him. My body grew rigid at the mention of my old friend. Or 'friend.'

"Is everything alright?" I heard Raoul's voice approach us.

He stood behind Jonathon, eyes on me.

"Just fine." Jonathon said back.

Raoul looked at me.

"Everything's fine. I'm just talking to him."

Raoul nodded, slowly taking his leave.

"You know. I could never figure out why he is so protective of you either."

I tightened my fists.

"Just go to lunch Jonathon. It's none of your concern." I scowled.

I turned to walk away, when I was suddenly pulled back, rough hands gripping my shoulders hard. Jonathon looked at me with angry blue eyes.

"I don't know what you feel the need of keeping things from me, or any of us, but it isn't working. I know when you are lying. I don't care if this has to do with your underground days, but you are above ground now. You are a member of the Survey Corps, and you are my friend. So, don't say it's none of my concern."

His voice was so low, I could barely hear. Just looking at him, almost scared me. His eyes narrowed, trying to read my face. His gaze burned holes into my head. Suddenly, he pushed me away, turning around. I stumbled back, a bit, looking at Jonathon angrily.

"Stay here then. I'm going to go get some lunch. See ya at training." He scowled.

"Ugh… Fine you jerk!" I yelled.

Jonathon left, leaving me alone with the titans who were tied down 7 meters away from me. I turned to them, seeing they were quieter than they had been before. They seemed more calm than usual.

"Tch... Scum…" I sneered, walking out of the area.

*Training*

"Okay cadets! To prove your strength. I will be pairing you up with current members of the Survey Corps, so when I call off your name. I want you to pair up. Once paired up, you will spar off for 15 minutes, and we will see how you handle." Mike called out.

I could tell Mika was very skeptical about doing this, she was shaking in her boots next to me. There wasn't too many girls in the Survey Corps, and she knew we would probably be paired with guys. She wasn't the best in hand to hand combat back in training, but she managed pretty well.

"First up! Michelle Strauss!" Mike called out.

I stepped forward saluting.

"You will be paired with Raymond Mayers." He gestured to the man who had stepped forward smirking.

_The guy who tried to hit on me. Great._

"Nice to see you again, Doll face. Let's just say this will make nice payback. Especially after the Lance Corporal stuck with me with Stable duty for 3 weeks for 'misconduct.' " He chuckled, cracking his knuckles.

_Levi said he had taken care of him, but that's what he did?_

I took stance, legs angled, with arms protecting my chest.

"Bring it then." I smirked.

"Ready? Go!" Mike called.

Both of us circled, waiting for an opening. He took a wider stance, but his blocking was leaving no errors.

_Maybe I should just go for it._

It felt like he read my mind. He lunged, grabbing my arm, the other arm going to hit my face.

_So that's how you fight, huh? _

Twisting my waist, I kicked my foot forward, hooking his ankle, and tripping him. Suddenly, I realized he still had his hold on my arm, he pulled me with him. We both landed hard.

"God damn it, you have a grip." I cursed.

"Nice view though." He chuckled.

I sat up, realizing he hand grabbed my shirt when he had come down. The first few buttons had come undone, showing my chest. Blushing, I got up quickly, kicking him hard in the side.

"Stand up and fight me you perv!" I shouted.

"Geez. You have a temper like the Corporal too. No wonder you are friends with him. Or is it more than friends?" he teased.

"Raymond Mayers, that's enough." Mike warned.

"Sure. Sure, Mike." Raymond smirked.

I could feel my blood boiling, just looking at him. _I could keep him right now. _He stood up, holding his side, and I unleashed a gut punch followed by, a right hook to the jaw. He dodged the right hook, hitting right into my shoulder. It stung for a second. The punches kept coming, but I kept low, dodging as I went. I stumbled back as he handed a punch into my jaw. It was throbbing pretty good. I moved back out of his line, hands up for blocking.

_Damn it…_

"Come on Doll face. You can do better than that. I heard you were top of your class." He smirked.

I froze, anger bubbling in my gut. He started laughing at me.

_He will pay for egging me on. _

I saw an opening, grabbing his arm, twisting hard until it touched his back. Forcing him to kneel, I tripped him, kneeing him in the stomach. Suddenly, I was being thrown over his shoulder. I landed hard on my back, getting up as quickly as I could. He smirked, still holding his stomach.

"Nice try." He laughed.

_One more thing to try I guess. _

Regaining my footing, I launched a right hook, catching him off guard. He went to block, but I switched hitting his stomach, grabbing his shoulder. Flattening my palm, I jabbed it into his neck, hitting his chin, while my foot hooked his ankle. In one swift movement, he felt flat on his back, sprawled out on the ground, dazed. I stepped on his stomach, keeping him down.

"Done! The fight is over." Mike called.

I huffed, stepping off of him. I walked away, finally feeling the small aches all over my body.

"You fight pretty well Cadet Strauss. I would expect nothing less from the top of your class." Mike smirked.

I nodded, returning to the line.

"Wow! That was pretty cool Michelle! I have never seen you fight that hard, even in training!" Mika exclaimed.

"Yeah… Just some moves and techniques I picked up I guess." I Shrugged, smiling at Raoul, who smirked.

"Someone might need to help him up." Christopher laughed.

We looked turning to Raymond still sprawled out on the ground. Two of his buddies were suddenly commanded to help him up.

"Get him to the infirmary." Mike huffed.

As they walked by, Raymond threw me a dirty look. I smirked, looking away proudly.

"We'll see next time Doll face. I won't be afraid to fight dirty then." He growled.

I felt a chill run down my spine, trying to hide it, I turned my attention to the next fight. It was Jonathon's turn.

_We'll see next time… And I'll be waiting. _

**Later that night**

"Good night Michelle! Sorry you have cleaning duties tonight. You sure you don't want me to help?" Mika asked.

"Because we can help you." Jonathon added.

"Nah. I got it. I should be back at the room before you know it." I smiled.

They both waved, leaving the mess hall. Most had already been taken care of. All that needed to be done was wipe down all the tables. The lanterns started to dim, and I went to put in some new candles.

"Would have been better to have lunch duty. I feel like I am always stuck with the night duty." I huffed, setting the lantern on the next table.

The room was very quiet, as the wind blew in from a window. The night seemed quite peaceful. If only I could enjoy it. Not be stuck cleaning.

"Cadet are you finished?" a voice called out.

I whipped around, see the mess hall doors open. Levi was there. He had his Survey Corps green cape on, so he must have gotten back from a meeting within Wall Sina.

"Oh, yeah. I am. Sorry, I was just enjoying the peace." I looked away.

"You can enjoy later. Finish cleaning the tables." He scowled, heading into the kitchen.

I scoffed, returning to wiping the tables.

_He is such a dick… _

I finished wiping down the last of the tables, picking up the rag and bucket. Entering the kitchen, I put the supplies back into the closet. Suddenly, the faint smell of tea filled the air. _I was the only one here until… _

I turned my head, seeing that Levi was standing by a stove, looking over a tea pot. The smell wafted through the air. Black tea.

"I hear your evaluation went well. You beat up Raymond Mayers good." His voice cut through the air.

I froze. _Was he actually trying to make conversation with me? Should I answer? _

"You just gonna stand there, ignoring me?" he scowled, turning to me.

Jumping slightly, I looked at his form. His body was slightly relaxed, while he was preparing the tea, but his face was stoic as always. His steel grey eyes, trained on the pot. Then, they flicked over to me. If looks could kill, I would have died by now_. _I flinched, slightly, drawing back an inch. _I thought that after all these years, I could get used to Levi's glares. Guess I was wrong.. _

"Well?"

"Y-Yeah. The evaluations went well Lance Corporal. Mike says he expects it, with me being top in my class. It would seem they see me as being a most qualified soldier." I replied, in a very monotonous tone.

"Cut the 'Lance Corporal' crap. I've heard it enough for one day." He sneered.

Stiffening, I stepped back, glancing towards the door.

_I would have never been afraid of his tone before. Why do I just want to run? Wasn't the whole point of this to show how strong I really was? But I really shouldn't push him anymore. I should just go._

"I'm going to bed now. Good night... Levi."

"Here."

Turning, I looked at the outstretched hand of Levi. He held a small mug, steaming.

_Tea? For me? _

Hesitantly, I stepped forward, taking the cup.

"It's nice to enjoy, especially before bed. It should help you sleep." He mumbled.

My eyes widened, gripping the cup.

_What exactly is he doing? Is he trying to be nice? I don't know this nice Levi…_

"Thank you. Good night."

I headed out into of the mess hall into the night. The night air hit me in a gust, but I brushed off the cold feeling. I had to get out of there. My heart was beating hard. My hand gripped the cup, making sure that it wouldn't spill. Ducking behind the building, I huffed, setting the tea down. I slid down the wall, my face buried into my knees, as they were drawn up to my chest. Everything felt heavy and blurry. My chest was aching.

_What is this? What's going on with me? I had worked hard to avoid him, and not confront him, after he dismissed me saying he didn't want me here. Levi… you suck so much… _

"Well, Well, Well… Who do we have here?" an unknown voice laughed.

"Seems the cadets don't know when it's time for bed." Another cackled.

"Why don't we have ourselves a little fun?" a familiar voice answered.

My eyes shot up, meeting the gazes of 3 men. One of them, I unmistakable knew as Raymond.


	5. The Feeling

_**Special treat! The writing bug bit me, and i couldn't stop writing! This is a very graph chapter, but i hope you enjoy it. **_

"So, what do ya say boys? Should we teach Ms. Perfect what happens when you mess with me?" Raymond laughed, looking between his two buddies.

I back against the wall. There was no real way out.

"How about we hold her down, and you teach her a lesson?" one friend cackled.

_How can I get out? I'm near the edge of the building, so I could just make a run for it. But that would leave room for them capturing me. There's three of them, and one of me. If only I had allowed Mika and Jonathon to stay will me… At least Jonathon could even the playing fields. _

My hand grazed the cup. I froze.

_I could create a distraction. _Suddenly, the two guys lunged for me. Curling my fingers around the cup, I threw the liquid into their face.

"Ow! Son of a bitch!" one shouted, wiping his face.

Scrambling to my feet, I made my run for it.

"Not so fast, bitch."

Suddenly, I was being ripped backward. My jacket was ripped from my body, and I was thrown to the ground hard. All the wind felt like it had been knocked out of me. My back ached from the rough ground. A weight pressed against my stomach, crushing my hips, locking my arms at my sides. I tried getting up, but my shoulders were suddenly pinned. I looked up seeing one guy pinning my shoulders. He was smiling down at me with the most sinister grin.

"This is a nice position to see you in Doll Face. Especially after you think you could pull a fast one on us. Daniel, you can let go. You guys go stand watch." Raymond replied.

The weight on my shoulders shifted. I looked up seeing Raymond's face so close to mine now.

"Though, I think you are a bit overdressed."

My eyes clamped shut, as I continued to struggle. Suddenly, I felt the buckle of my harness undone, and my shirt opening.

"Get the hell off of me, damn it!" I yelled.

Raymond's hand clamped onto my mouth, and his deep green eyes looked at me.

"I don't think that is wise. Someone might come if you yell any louder." he smirked.

His other hand kept busy with my buttons, working it down to my stomach. I felt the tears pricking the corners of my eyes.

_No… Stop it… Why can't I move? I can't actually will myself to fight. Don't cry. Act like it doesn't faze you. He will leave you alone if he knows he can't get to you. _

"Nice body. For a bitch." He laughed.

His hand gripped my breast, squeezing hard. I tried to cry out, but his hand pushed harder on my mouth. Every sense to fight, felt gone. Like, the will to do it wasn't worth it. His hand moved from my mouth, and before I could scream, his mouth crashed down on mine, forcing his tongue into my mouth while he continued groping my whole chest now. It tasted so vile, and I could hardly breathe. I tried to bite his tongue, just to get it out, but he gripped my chin, keeping my mouth open. His hands were rough, and every feel sent a wave of pain through me.

_This is not how this should go… This can't be happening.  
_Hot tears were streaming my face now. Raymond pulled away, leaving my gasping for breath.

"Don't it feel good Doll Face? You think you are so tough, but you can't even beat me a second time. You are just weak." He smirked.

I spit in his face. He reacted pulling away, before smacking my face hard. I cried out in pain, before he covered my mouth again, stifling my sounds.

"This'll teach ya." He snarled, licking and kissing my neck.

"Hey Ray, I think someone is-." One of the guys said, suddenly cut off.

Raymond pulled away, glancing over his shoulders. I coughed, trying to get his taste out of my mouth. The sound of a fight met my ears. The sound of a fist meeting skin. Flesh being beaten and bruised. I felt relief, as I hoped that someone had heard me.

"Oi. Brat. Get the fuck off of her." A voice barked.

The voice sounded familiar, but I couldn't piece it together. The weight left my stomach, and I curled into a ball, moving away.

_I was almost…. Oh god. _

I heard the sound of someone getting knocked around. Something was mumbled. The ringing in my ears interrupted all sounds. Sitting up, I looked up, seeing someone throw Raymond's beat up body aside. Raymond laid in a heap, coughing hard. The person turned to me.

"Are you okay?"

I cringed, moving away, gripping my shirt.

"Don't look at me." I cried softly.

Footsteps approached me, and something was draped over my shoulders. It was soft and warm. I could barely see what it was with how dark it was, but I made out the faint yet distinct color of green fabric moving from the moonlight. _A Survey Corps Cape? _I looked up, seeing the person still standing there.

"Let's just get you to your room, and stay there, okay?"

I nodded. They lent a hand to me, and I took it hesitantly. The person was taller than me by a bit, and had black hair. _Wait…_

"Levi?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah? Are you okay to walk?" he asked, looking at me, almost annoyed.

His voice sounded harsh, but I knew he was just trying to be sincere.

"Yeah… I'm fine…"

Levi tried to touch my shoulder, but I jumped, moving away. Instead, he just held out his arm for me to take. I grabbed onto it, hugging myself to him, as he walked me out of the area. I saw him kick Raymond really hard in the head as we walked away.

_He was always the one beating up people who tried to mess with our group, even if it was not a real issue. Farlan though… was always one to tell him to stop. Where are they? I need to know! This is was driving me crazy now.  
_He walked with me back to the dorms, leaving me at door. It was silent, and he didn't talk. My mind was still racing with what almost had happened. My whole body felt violated.

"I'll talk to Erwin to decide punishment for them." Levi said, once we reached my door.

I nodded, letting go of his arm, turning away.

"You should be more careful next time."

Whipping around, I stared angrily at him.

"This wasn't my damn fault! It was a revenge scheme for beating him! There was no way I had power, and no way could I have gotten out of it. I'm just lucky you got there before he…." I shouted, feeling my lungs burn.

I couldn't bring myself to say it. My insides felt ready to explode. My lungs were burning from overexertion. My sight felt fuzzy, and my breathing was becoming erratic.

"Michelle."

I looked up, wiping the new tears away, clutching my chest. Two hands grabbed my shoulders gently.

"Take a deep breath."

*Flashback*

"What's wrong with her?" Levi scoffed.

"I think she is having a panic attack. Don't stress her out." Isabel scolded.

My head buried between my knees, I rocked back and forth. Breathing just burned, as it became for erratic and strained. Isabel was rubbing circles into my back.

"How would I be stressing her out? I didn't do anything."

"Just you being around her acting like this is putting strain on her. She can't help it. She just needs space, and a quiet environment."

_This happens every time some military person questions me, or a guy tries to hit on me. I'm so weak. _

I squeezed my eyes shut, hands clamped over my ears. The rocking was soothing, but nothing was calming down. I felt ready to burst.

_I just need to calm down. I just need to-_

Suddenly, a hand clamped down on my shoulder. I peeked up, seeing it was Levi. Immediately looking down, I shut my eyes again.

_Oh no, he is going to get mad… _

"Michelle."

I looked up again. Still Levi.

"Just take a deep breath, okay?"

I felt so shocked hearing that from him. But it felt very…..

*end of flashback*

_Warm…_

My heart rate slowed down, and I started breathing slower. Everything seemed to calm down from there.

"Hmmm.. What's going on?" the door opened suddenly, revealing Mika rubbing her eyes sleepily.

"Cadet Strauss wasn't feeling well, so I was kind enough to walk her this far. I should be getting back now, from all the distractions." Levi replied.

"Are you okay Michelle?" Mika asked, suddenly worried.

"I'm… fine. Just a small panic attack is all…" I sighed.

"Thank goodness! Let's get you into bed." She said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

My whole body stiffened when she did, but I didn't feel like offending her, or telling her what really happened. _I didn't feel like reliving it either. _

"Oh wait, Corporal. Do you want your-?"

"Just keep it. I have another."

He walked off without another word. Levi wasn't always the one for talk, but he was acting strange.

"That was very generous of him. I always thought he was scary!" Mika smiled, leading me into the room.

I nodded, following her into the room.

"I think I'm going to wash up, you can go back to bed now." I shrugged her off.

"Oh, okay. Well…. I'll bring you clothes to change into." Mika replied.

"Thanks… Mika."

_I'm glad she is the one I don't have to put up a fight with for her to listen to me. _

I walked into the connected bathroom, stripping the cape off, with the rest of my uniform. I didn't even care that I had left my jacket behind.

_I'll just get it later if I remember…_

Never had a washed off my body so much. I felt like I was scrubbing it right off my bones. My skin was turning a nice red as I scrubbing away, dumping the rest of the water on me in the tub.

_I don't think I will ever feel clean after that…. But… one thing strange happened…. _

I wrapped a towel around me, snuggling into it.

"Michelle? I have your clothes."

"Thanks."

She opened the door a crack, setting them on the floor. My short and tank top with a fresh set of undergarments. I slipped them on slowly, exiting the bathroom with the candle. Setting it on the window sill above the bed, I crawled in, wrapping the blankets around me.

_One thing did happen… I saw….. For maybe a second…. _

Images of what happened flashed through my head. But I focused on one fraction of the memory. Levi's face when he was beating Raymond. His eyes blazing, his mouth turned down in a scowl with his teeth gritted. His lips moved. Saying something.

Then it hit me. Reading what he had said.

_He… _

"Touch my friend again, and I won't hesitate to kill you."

_Cares for me still... _


	6. The Realization

_**I've been writing a lot of back story, and just establishing the characters. I promise the next few chapters will be plenty of action! I apologize it took me so long!**_

"Did you hear? Three people got kicked out of the Survey corps. "

"Who was it?"

"Raymond Mayers, and some other guys. They were pretty beat up before they left."

"What happened? I didn't know it was possible for Raymond to get kicked out."

"They didn't say. They were just discharged."

_I don't want to hear this… I don't even know why I came out for lunch… It's been five days since they left, and a week since the incident, but the rumors are still circulating. _

"Are you okay, Michelle?" Mika asked wrapping an arm around me.

"I'm fine…" I sighed, pushing her arm off.

Raoul scooted closer, rubbing small circles in my back. I cringed upon contact which made him look at me confused.

"Listen up!"

Erwin entered the mess hall, followed by Mike, Hanji, Levi, and a couple of the other squad leaders.

Everyone stood up saluting.

"Now, I think it's been enough time for our new cadets to buck up and get used to life here, so in three days' time, we will be leaving for another expedition into Titan country. Is everyone clear?" Erwin announced.

"Yes sir!"

"And as for the rumors. Yes, we had three members leave us promptly, but it was for good reasons, that will only be known amongst me and Lance Corporal Levi. We hope this puts all the talk to rest. At ease now. Training in the yard will follow, after we will be prepping to leave for the wall. And if I could talk briefly with Hanji's and Levi's squad outside."

We exchanged glances, before getting up, and exiting the mess hall, following Erwin, Hanji, and Levi out. Four people walked with us. I didn't really recognize them.

"Okay. The reason why I wanted to talk to your squads personally, is for something I have planned during the mission." Erwin started.

"And what would that be?" Jonathon asked.

"You two groups are our strongest members, and the ones with the most qualified soldiers. I want your groups to be riding in the front of the group, spread out so we have visual on all sides." Erwin explained.

"Seems plausible. Since it's the 9 of us, and the squad leaders, we should be able to spread out enough, and be able to assist if any titans appear." This short haired strawberry blonde girl said.

"That's why I'll have you spread out by the flanks on either side. So you will also be able to assist any mishaps. And with the flares we have, you guys in the front will be able to alert everyone easily." Erwin continued.

"We all know the plan then?" Levi asked.

We nodded.

"Well, I guess you should introduce yourselves then. I have to go fill out some paper work before the expedition." Erwin nodded, walking off.

"Well.. I'm Petra. And this is Auroro, Gunther, and Eld." The girl smiled, pointing to her friends.

"I'm Michelle. This is Mika, Christopher, Raoul, and Jonathon." I replied.

"Well, it's nice to meet you."

"Are we done with the greetings?" Levi scoffed.

"Yeah, Captain. We should return to the mess hall now. We should meet up again before the expedition, so we can work out more details, okay?" Petra replied, returning her gaze to me.

I nodded, and they left too.

"I'm starving! Let's go back too." Mika complained.

We started walking, when suddenly, a hand brushed against my shoulder. Jumping, I smacked it away, falling back.

"Calm down, It's just me." Levi muttered.

He held out his hand, but I ignored it, standing up on my own.

"Michelle? Are you coming too?" Mika called.

"No. You guys go on without me." I replied, waving them away.

"Do you need me to stay?" Raoul asked.

"This is something I need to do alone. I'll be right in, okay?" I turned to him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Raoul looked at Levi for a second, then nodded. He turned to leave, and I saw Levi and him staring at each other for a second. Raoul eyes squinted, before turning off, and heading in.

Mika looked at Raoul for a second, following next to him confused, before Raoul waved her off. I looked down at the ground, feeling bad. _I shouldn't be worrying them… But I can't help it right now…_

"You should really eat you know. You won't be able to focus on training if you don't." Levi piped up.

I turned looking at him. His mouth still turned downward, but somewhat relaxed. His eyebrows creased, as he looked at me. His eyes that same steely grey, though they actually seemed concerned.

_For what? Thinking I'm slipping up on myself? I won't let that happen._

"Did you want to talk about something?" I asked, quietly.

"Yeah, I did actually. Come to my office after dinner. There's something you should really know, before going on the expedition."

Confused, I looked at him, trying to read his face.

_What could he want to tell me? Maybe apologize for how he has been acting since I got here. Or explain why he was acting that way, then saved me the other night… This is Levi we are talking about, so I probably can't expect an apology._

"It wasn't really a question."

I froze, standing stiffly, nodding.

"Will I finally get to know about Isabel and Farlan?" I asked, looking at the ground.

There was a pause, and I looked up at him. He turned away.

"I want to know. It's been eating me up inside, and I have been holding off, and trying to forget because I know I will never get an answer from any fucking person around here-." I started, feeling my voice crack.

"Yes. You will know."

I looked up at him, wiping the small tears from the corners of my eyes. He wouldn't meet my gaze.

"Levi…" I started.

"You should really treat a lady better Levi. You might scare her away." Hanji chuckled, slinging an arm over my shoulder.

I jumped, stumbling backward. My heart was suddenly pumping.

"Michelle? Are you okay?" Hanji asked me.

Levi's eyes were on me. Meeting mine, my heart was still beating fast. I could barely breathe.

"Michelle?"

"I'm fine Hanji. I'm going back into the mess hall now."

I walked quickly back into the mess hall. I didn't bother to wait for her response. Everything in my mind, told me to get away.

_I've become so afraid of what could happen that I have become scared of even my acclaimed friends. God… I've lived in the underground, survived hell, and even made it through training to get back to Levi and the others. I won't act scared now…_

*Later*

After dinner, I walked straight to Levi's office. He had got me reassigned to clean up after lunch instead of dinner. I didn't mind. I was somewhat scared to be alone in the mess hall again.

Reaching the door, I was somewhat hesitant, before knocking a few times. No answer.

_I saw him leave after dinner. Where could he be?_

I knocked again, a bit louder, but still no answer.

"Levi? It's me, Michelle. Are you in there?"

I didn't hear any hushed voices, so I assumed he wasn't busy.

_He would at least answer. _

Checking the handle, I found the door wasn't locked.

_He always had the habit to lock doors. Weird…._

Stepping inside, I saw the faint glow of a candle, flickering from a lantern on his desk. Papers were scattered on it, while the rest of the room remained clean.

"That's Levi for you… Hasn't changed." I chuckled.

The room was quiet, and I didn't hear him moving around in the room adjacent, so he must had stopped by Erwin's office or something. I guess I am stuck waiting for him. I walked over to the desk, sitting in the chair.

_I wonder what Levi wanted to talk about with me… What happened to them? Could it be on this desk? _

Skimming over the papers, my eyes fell upon two folders. My eyes widened when I read the labels.

Cadet Isabel Magnolia.

Cadet Farlan Church.

_Should I…. I need to know…. Damn, I have gone so long without knowing. _

Lightly touching the folders, I gripped them in my hand.

_He would kill me for looking... But they're my family too. _

Opening Isabel's first, my eyes skimmed the page with her information, until they fell upon the words at the bottom of the page.

**Deceased during Scouting Expedition. **

_No…. _

Tears brimmed my eyes.

_That's impossible! It can't be! Why would no one tell me?!_

Ripping open Farlan's folder, I looked at the bottom seeing the same thing.

**Deceased during Scouting Expedition. **

My hand clasped over my mouth, as the folders dropped back down onto the desk.

"It can be…. Why…" I cried.

"Michelle. What are you doing in here?" a low voice called.

My eyes fell upon Levi who was standing in the doorway with a cup in hand. His eyes met mine, and he came to my side when he saw the tears streaming down my face. The tea cup dropped, shattering on the floor. His arms touched my shoulders, as I covered my face, trying to hide my tears.

_No… It's not possible!_


	7. The Reaction

_Numb… How else was I supposed to describe this feeling?_

A crashing sound met my ears. Blurs filled my eyes as I tried to ignore life passing slowly past them. His hands gripped my arms tightly. My lungs felt like they were able to collapse. Heaving harder than training ever had made them. I couldn't stop shaking. My hands felt clammy, and frozen like ice. I held onto his arm, my knuckles turning white under pressure. We were both sitting on the floor now. Levi had pushed the chair out of the way, when I had nearly collapsed. Tears stained my face.

"Why?" I asked, voice cracked.

No response, just a tighter squeeze around my shoulders. I was shaking harder now. I looked up at him. Those grey eyes I could never grow tired of. His eyes were softened. I had never seen him look at me like this. My tears fell.

"Levi… Why?"

"I… couldn't tell you. It wasn't the right time." He answered.

My head was hurting now. My lungs felt constricted. I didn't like that answer, feeling my stomach rise into my throat. I couldn't speak.

"Hey, don't have a panic attack on me. It's going to be alright. I'm here."

Levi started rubbing my back in small circles.

_I'm here…_

I pushed him away, wrapping my arms around me. His touch felt unwanted in the moment, though I regretted it when I pulled away. He gave me a confused look, as I felt the anger rise in my throat.

"Levi. You were never there. I've been here for about a year…. When was going to be the right time to tell me?! I needed to know… I can't just be left hanging! They were my friends too!"

I stood up, heading for the door. My feet hitting the floor boards loudly. My arm was tugged backward, and I looked to see a distraught Levi. His head lowered. His hand squeezed my wrist a bit. I've never seen him so upset. He usually sported a calm scowl when he didn't look mad at everyone. It broke me, seeing him like that. He was hurting like I was…

"Let go of me Levi. I can't see you right now."

"Don't go." His voice cracked.

My heart squeezed. Yanking my wrist away, wiping a few tears away.

_I can't do this right now…_

"I have to focus on this expedition. I'm not letting my guard down."

Opening the door, I ran all the way back to the dorms. I didn't hear him calling my name or anything. No footsteps following me. Nothing.

_I've never felt so numb before….I'm sorry…_

*Day of the expedition*

We all stood at the gates of District Trost. Everyone mounted on their horses. My horse Lily, trotted a bit in place, neighing from staying in place too long. I stroked her neck, calming her. Looking around, I felt uncomfortable and tired. Everyone looked nervous and unprepared for what lie outside those gates. I had gotten no rest the past 2 days, and with training nonstop, my muscles ached a bit.

_Don't make it obvious you're hurting. Just get through this expedition._

"Okay! We are getting ready to move out!" Erwin called.

The gate began to move up, revealing the passage to the outside world.

"I'm getting scared…" Mika stuttered.

"Same… But… As a group we should be fine, right Michelle?" Christopher looked at me.

I looked between the two placed on either side of me. I remember wearing that same look the day Levi and… they had saved me. I was scared of everything, being so sheltered. My eyes fell to the ground.

_No… I can't hold back… I have to be strong... For them…._

"Yeah… As a group, we are strong. Remember that." I looked up at them, smiling.

"We're in this together. All for one, and one for all!" Hanji laughed.

I smirked, feeling a little better. Looking to Raoul and Jonathan. Raoul seemed to be hiding his fear, showing only a brave smirk. He looked at me, nodding.

"We watch for each other, okay Raoul?" I reached out to touch his arm.

"Right." He smiled.

I smiled back, preparing Lily. I looked over to Jonathon realizing he hadn't said anything. Jonathan didn't look up. He looked so lost in thought.

"Oi! Not a time to doze off now, brat!" a loud bark from the side came.

Jonathan shot up, looking at Levi as his horse approached ours. His squad stayed by him, ready to take the lead with us. I could see glares exchanged between the two, making the air feel heavy.

"We're moving out! Squad Levi and Squad Hanji move out!" Erwin ordered.

Gearing the horses, the air settled, and we raced out of the gate into the open air of titan country. The wide open fields made everything feel small. I awed at the sight of the scenery.

_I've never felt something like this… It's so freeing… _

A small bit of fear gnawed at the back of my mind. My eyes drifted to Levi, his eyes not moving from in front of him. He looked so focused and relaxed.

_I'll prove to you, I'm strong enough… In one way or another…_


	8. The Attack

It was so open. Who knew it could really be this freeing? There was no walls in sight, except for the one we left behind. The creaking of chains was now faded, and the crash of stone signalled to us that the gate was closed. There was no going back now. Our two lead groups fanned out, and the stampede of horses continued to ring through my ears.

"It's so open out here!" Mika exclaimed.

"I can't believe it. We've missed this all of our lives. Trapped inside a wall" Christopher gasped in disbelief.

I kept my eyes forward, smirking at their comments.

They don't know the true feeling of being trapped.

"Okay, so we're going to stay at the front, Levi and I will be behind you if you need any assistance! Keep at pace, and remember, no flare use unless a titan is dangerously close to the group. For the most past, the outer left and right flanks will take care of flare work." Hanji explained.

We all nodded, keeping our speed steady with the rest.

Suddenly, a red flare went off far east.

"A titan spotted already?" I said aloud, glancing over at Hanji.

She pulled out a flare gun, readying a reply. A green flare set off from the middle, and Hanji followed the direction.

"Head west now." she commanded.

It seemed to be a very straight forward system. A very well developed one at that. I still couldn't believe this plan was developed before Commander Erwin was named the commander. It seemed suspicious to me, how well thought out this plan was. Especially since it placed him right in the center with the carts. Safe in the center. Numbers of people would die in order for titans to get even close to him.

"Michelle! You're spacing out again. Keep at pace." Raoul came closer to me.

"Oh, sorry. Was just thinking about something." I apologized, pulling on the reins to make Lily go faster.

"Michelle are you alright?" Mika asked.

"I'm alright. Guys pay att-." the ground began to shake, making me stop mid sentence.

My eyes narrowed towards where the shaking was coming from, then widened. Up ahead. Group of at least 5 titans. All running, with arms flailing. Abnormals.

"Shit. Hanji! Flare gun! 5 abnormals up ahead!" I shouted behind me.

"We'll have to split up!" Raoul called.

"No. We stay in formation!" Petra warned us.

Flares went off, but the titans sped up towards us. No attempt was made towards breaking formation.

"We're just racing towards our deaths." I looked back at Levi and Hanji.

"Stay where you are." Levi looked at me with narrow eyes.

Grunting, I looked around me, at my group, and Levi's group. Anyone I could see. I felt something in the pit of my stomach, that couldn't let this continue. These people weren't being sent to their deaths. I pulled out my flare gun selecting two green flares. I loaded one, shooting it off the the side, and shot the other to the other side. Response flares went off, and I saw us all going in opposite directions.

The titans were close, and went off in different directions as well. No. We're trapped.

"Michelle! Don't go anywhere." Levi yelled at me.

Looking back at him, I sighed, gripping the reins before speeding up towards the group of titans.

"Michelle!"

I'll show you I'm strong enough to handle myself.

Lily neighed, and I kept my eyes forward, judging the titans.

Two 10 meter titans, abnormal. Save for last. One 6 meter, one 8 meter, and one…. wait..

I slowed down.

One 9 meter regular? Hiding within the rest. Slower. They seem to be protecting him.

As they got closer, I took a deep breath, i saw the 6 meter reach out for a horse of a lagging member. I carefully stood up onto Lily's back, and shot a line into the titan's neck. Feeling the pull, I lept forward, leaving Lily behind, and I knew I was in for a ride.


	9. The Fight

The titan pulled hard, and when a hand slapped at me, I spun up, and landed my blades into its shoulder, holding on. My line retracted, and I looked around, spotting a 10 meter, shooting my line now into its neck. When the line pulled, I angled my blades, going over the plan in my head.

_This should work if I remember my attack pattern. _

The pull, lurched me forward, and my blades slashed through the titan's nape. Steam filled my line of vision, and the ground shook as its now limp body fell to the ground. The titan shook violently, noticing my line. The leather tightened on my body, cutting into my leg a bit.

"Shit."

I couldn't retract the line before it pulled on it. Severing my connection from its neck, I swore under my breath. It pulled hard, grabbing me with its hand.

I squirmed, stabbing into the hot flesh, but it just squeezed harder. Coughing hard, feeling my lungs being crushed, I kept moving trying to break free.

"This isn't how it ends." I sputtered.

Suddenly, Steam filled my line of vision, and the hand tightened, before letting go. I hooked myself onto another titan, as it swatted at me, more steam rose. It fell, and I landed on the ground, slightly off balance.

"Get the hell out of here!" a voice yelled at me.

Regaining strength, I looked at the leader, swatting at the person who had helped me. Their cape swung in the breeze. The leader, it seemed strong.

_No... You're mine._

I calibrated my lines again, shooting a line into the titan's shoulder. Its head turned to look at me, but it seemed distracted by the other person. Taking that advantage, I swung my line, and went in for the nape, ripping it up in one swing of my blades. The steam rose once more, and I waited for the titan to fall before hopping onto the ground that grew closer.

My knees felt weak, and I fell to the ground, dropping my blades. Everything felt heavy, as the steam dissipated, and the knocking of boots approached me. I looked up, seeing it was Levi that approached me.

"Are you fucking crazy?! You almost got yourself killed." he yelled, pulling me to my feet.

"I was trying to help. We almost lost some people." I replied.

"We always lose people. We could've lost more if it wasn't for that stunt! You could've died." he sneered, gripping my cloak.

His eyes were lit up in anger. His hands were a bit shaky, as I felt that I wasn't touching the ground anymore.

I've seen this face many times. Whenever we took serious damage. We almost lost Isabel to a stray knife attack to a serious artery in her leg. He didn't care the blood was staining, he was angry that she was careless, and got badly wounded.

I sighed, grabbing his hands.

"Levi, let go." I asked, calmly.

His hands felt shaky, and his eyes lost their anger. Suddenly, I was pulled away, falling against someone's chest. Levi's face turned stone.

"Michelle! Are you okay?!" Mika and Christopher yelled at once.

I looked up seeing the one who had me in their embrace was Jonathon. A blade was held out in front of him.

"You don't hurt her." Jonathon's low voice met my ears.

"You better lower your weapons too cadet if you know better." Petra readied her swords from behind Levi.

I couldn't stop looking at Levi's eyes. They looked so distant, and cold. Yet, I could see the rage in them. I could see the hurt in the rage.

"Jonathon let me go now." I demanded.

"Michelle-." Jonathon looked at me.

"Let me go now, Adler. Lower your goddamn weapon. I'm not a fucking child!" I yelled.

Levi looked at me surprised.

"Cadet Adler! Lower your weapon!" a gruff voice called out.

The galloping of a horse approached us. We all looked up, and I finally pushed away from Jonathon. My eyes stayed trained on Erwin. Erwin approached us, scowling.

"Who set off the flares? I didn't order any splitting up." He looked to Hanji and Levi.

"I did sir." I replied, approaching him slowly.

"Cadet Strauss? I would expect more thought from a girl who was raised in military conditions."

Cringing, I stood straight, giving a salute.

"It was smartest. The group was protecting a non-abnormal within them, and I knew they wouldn't go far. If ours split up, we could pick off the group easier. Sir this isn't the place to be discussing this. It's not safe in the open. I suggest we gather back at the meeting point until then." I replied nonchalantly.

His eyebrow cocked slightly, before smirking to turn his gaze to Hanji and Levi.

"Regather your groups. I will be riding to all planks to see who is still left. We will still meet at the planned checkpoint. If sundown comes, leave without us, and head onto next checkpoint where we will reroute to you." he explained to them.

They both nodded. Erwin turned back to me.

"You're showing real military promise. Your father would be proud." Erwin smirked.

I cringed, trying to keep my salute. I felt the anger rising in my veins. My hands fell to my sides, curled into fists.

Erwin rode off, leaving us behind.

"That bastard…" I whispered.

Jonathon approached me, his hand grazing my shoulder. I turned around angry.

"Are you-."

"Who the hell do you think you are? This isn't some back alley mugging, Adler. This is a serious situation where people are dying. You pull a weapon on a superior again, you will stay behind. Got it? Who trained you? Because I sure as hell didn't show you that."

"We need to get out of here. We've been exposed for too long." Gunther approached us.

"I agree. We need to get moving." Petra added.

I turned back to look at Jonathon. Then, looked to Hanji, nodding.

"Everyone on their horses. Michelle! Where is yours?" Hanji asked, turning to me.

"Lily hates loud noises. That's why I jumped off her to attack. She'll double back eventually." I explained.

"Useless horse." Levi sneered.

"Tch, says you. If that's your thinking to get rid of something once it's useless, I would have been gone and dead years ago." I exclaimed, turning to him.

His face turned stone, those steely grey eyes, were unfazed.

"Michelle, It's alright. Just calm down." Mika approached me, wrapping one arm around my shoulder.

I froze, not wanting to calm down. My blood was boiling, and I wasn't in the mood to be messed with."

"Michelle you can-" Jonathon started.

"Get on my horse then. I'll let you ride until we find your horse." Levi interrupted.

Surprised, I turned to him. His hand was held out, his face in a scowl.

The ground began to shake, and off in the distance, I could see the approaching bodies of a few titans.

"Everyone on their horse!" Levi shouted.

Without thinking, I followed Levi, jumping onto the back saddle. The shaking continued. His horse whinnied before taking off at full speed. I whipped back, before reaching forward to grab onto Levi's slim waist. My thighs were pressed up against his gear, but I couldn't move from my position.

The pounding slowly got closer to us, and I looked back to see a grinning face meters away from me, reaching out for Mika's horse. My heart stopped.


	10. The Fight pt 2

_**Happy Holidays everyone! Enjoy the new chapter, and more plot development ;)**_

I've never looked so closely at a titan's as I had when I saw it close in on Mika's horse. Its hair was long and faded. Its eye had a gleam in them. Something like an animal when it goes in for the kill. Its mouth turned up in a perfect grin. Like it was mocking us. Its eye flicked over to me, and I cringed.

"Mika!" I yelled.

She looked back, frightened, and tried to speed up her horse. Panicking, I readied my gear, recalibrating my lines.

"Don't. It's too dangerous to jump off, and you'll just get yourself killed." Levi warned me.

"Tch. You should know by now, I will take risks for my friends." I replied, smirking.

Leaning back, I shot a line straight into the titan's shoulder as it reached out for Mika. It looked at me, its big eyes hungry.

"Wait, Michelle!"

"Don't wait up for me!"

I flew backwards, scraping hard against the ground, before kicking up, and at the titan. My leg hurt like hell, but I had to withstand it. My titan's hand reached out for me. I glanced back quickly, seeing they were still continuing on. I smirked.

"You're going down for even trying to kill my friends." I pointed my sword at it.

I dug into its shoulder, ripping it up, before releasing my line, seeing a nearby patch of trees pass by. My line hissed as I shot it into the tree feeling the tug. Steam flew everywhere, and as I was pulled back, I cut its nape out in my swoop, letting it fall to the ground. But I was suddenly ripped to the ground by a hand.

"Damnit, more?!" I cried out.

I hit the ground hard, breath leaving me. My line clattered to the ground, retracting back into its holding area. Steam surrounded me, and I tried to get out of its grip. I realized it was the titan I had killed, as the skin seemed to disintegrate away. It burned my arm a bit, feeling small stings under my jacket. Small beads of blood ran down my face, as I felt a cut on my forehead.

"Great."

I made my way back to the tree, and landed roughly on a high up branch, stabilizing myself on the trunk, when I suddenly felt the pain in my leg from earlier. I touched it, feeling wetness, and my hand was coated in blood. My pants had been torn, luckily my belts held up, though it put more pressure on the large gap and scrape going across the outer part of my thigh. Blood was seeping through it.

"Shit." I hissed.

I heard a whinnying from below, and I caught sight of Lily.

"I knew you would be following behind. Stay still girl!" I yelled.

Jumping from the branch, I landed with a thud onto her back. She reacted, trotting a bit, before stopping to look back at me. Her eyes looked scared.

"I'm fine, girl. Just catch up to the others." I replied, petting her mane.

She whinnied again. I chuckled, gripping her reins. She took off full speed, as I saw up ahead, the group had stopped in a line of trees. I waved at them, and they jumped on their horses, to catch up to me.

"Michelle! Are you okay?!" Mika yelled, coming up next to me.

"I'm fine. There's no time to stop. We need to keep moving." I yelled.

Hanji nodded to me, and signaled the rest to keep going.

We returned to formation, picking up pace. No more titans seemed to be close to us, so we were safe for now. I couldn't keep my mind off the pain throbbing from my thigh. It stung like a bitch.

The sun beat down on us, the wind blowing through the grass softly. It was nice weather, that's for sure.

"Seems this is the perfect time to scout. No titans around." Christopher joked.

"We still need to keep our guard." I warned.

"I know. I'm just glad no titans are around." He replied.

"You know your forehead is bleeding, right?" Raoul asked.

"I'm fine."

"Keep up. Michelle. Are you okay? You seem to be slower." Jonathon asked me.

"I said I'm fine. Just leg hurt from landing." I chuckled, trying to mask my pain.

"We're coming up on the giant forest. We will rest along the outskirts of it until we get a flare." Levi instructed.

"We'll rest in the trees that way, no titans can catch us off guard." Hanji added.

"Thank god." I said under my breath.

As we kept riding, a giant forest came into view. The trees looking as tall as the walls. Probably taller.

It was magnificent. I tried to keep my eyes focused ahead of me, but my vision started to blur.

"Damn, blood loss. I need to hold on until I can get up to a branch." I hissed under my breath.

"Michelle. There's something running down your leg, and it's covering the side of Lily. Oh god, its blood." Mika cried out.

Everyone head snapped to me. I cringed, gripping the reins.

"I'm fine. It's a scratch." I huffed.

"Stop, right now. We're going to wrap that up." Levi commanded.

My hands were losing their grip. I couldn't hold on for much longer. The trees were so close.

"I'm not weak." I hissed.

"Michelle. You're losing blood too fast. It looks serious." Hanji added.

Lily whinnied, slowing her pace down.

"Keep going girl." I tried, my voice losing itself.

The brush of the edge appeared, and Lily came to a stop.

"Made it…" I sighed.

Slipping off the horse, I fell to the ground, struggling. Two arms wrapped around me.

"Hang on. We'll fix you up."

I couldn't tell who it was, but the throbbing in my leg was too much.

"I made it this far. And I took down so many titans on my own. I told you I wasn't weak Levi." I chuckled.

Blurs turned to darkness, and I slipped into it as I felt the arms picking me up, and flying through the air.

**Levi's POV**

She was reckless as usual. Not letting people know when she was hurt or needed help. I jumped off my horse, running to her as I saw Cadet Adler had caught her. She mumbled something before passing out.

"Get her up high. Petra, grab some gauze and bandages." I commanded.

He nodded, carefully maneuvering his way up to a high branch.

"I can't believe we didn't notice. I thought of all people you would know her best." Shitty glasses came up behind me.

"Tch… It's not like I'm her keeper." I scoffed, getting ready for climb.

"But you are her friend. Her only true friend. I know you care about her. I can see how protective you are over her." Hanji exclaimed.

I stopped. My fists clenched, looking back at her. Hanji's was looked actually serious for once.

"Tch."

I shot a line up into the tree, it hissed, as I zoomed up, landing where Team Hanji had settled her. Michelle's face was so pale. Something hurt inside of me. Cadet Bayer had Michelle's head in her lap. Cadet Adler looked at me. His eyes narrowed.

_What the hell is that look supposed to mean?_

He walked towards me.

"Lance Corporal."

"Cadet?" I scowled.

"Stay away from Michelle if you know what's good for you. I don't care if you are my superior, or that you were her friend, but she doesn't need to prove herself to you to know she is strong." He said darkly.

Everything around me stopped. His words echoed through my head. I wasn't in the mood for an argument.

"You're not in charge of her. So, I hope you do best to learn your place cadet. That's how you get on my bad side." I sneered.

I turned, jumping to the next branch to talk to my squad.

"Those group of cadets are gutsier than I thought." Auroro scoffed.

"Don't let it bother you. It's scary when people we care about get hurt." Petra glanced over to them.

"Tch." It bothered me.

"Levi. We haven't seen a flare yet. Should we continue on?" Gunther asked.

"No. She isn't conscious yet. Once she is up, we will continue. If you wish to continue you on to the next point. Wait for us there." I replied, looking over to Michelle.

"We'll scout ahead, and watch for Erwin. We'll take those cadets with us. All of them don't need to be lounging around." Auroro decided.

"I can't see being able to pull Cadet Adler away from her. He seems too attached. Won't be good in the end." Eld added.

I sneered, thinking of Adler made my blood boil.

_He's just some snob nosed brat who's too big for his britches. _

"So, we got a plan?" Petra looked at me

I nodded, calling to Hanji. She came over to us.

"Go a plan?" she asked.

"I want you to continue on with my group, and bring most of your group. Scout ahead, and watch out for Erwin's flare. I'll stay with Adler until Michelle comes to. Got it?" I relied the information to her.

"Got it. You let us know when she regains consciousness so we can wait for you." Hanji smiled.

Hanji returned to the group, and from afar it seemed no one objected. I returned to them, leaving my group behind.

"Um, Lance Corporal? Would you mind taking my place? I don't want her head laying on the branch with this cut." Cadet Bayer asked.

I was taken aback. Surprised she was would ask me. I saw Adler look at me, eyes narrowed.

"Yeah." I nodded.

She moved, as I sat against the trunk, Michelle's head rested on my lap now. Her head was wrapped up, and her leg had a gauze wrapped around it, some blood seeping through. Her face looked so peaceful. Her breathing was steady.

"Take good care of her you two." Hanji winked at me.

"Tch. Just get on, shitty glasses. You're wasting daylight." I scolded.

She laughed, turning to the soldiers, and they continued on. I looked back down at Michelle. Her face was still deadly pale. It worried me. It actually worried me. Cadet Adler settled down at the edge of the branch, eyes on me. I sighed.

"Wake up soon." I said quietly.


	11. The Switch

Erwin's flare went off an hour ago, and I relayed to a scouting soldier that Michelle had gotten hurt, and to let Erwin know I would continue on when she awoke. Cadet Adler insisted on staying as well.

"You know you aren't too well at obeying authority. I have no clue how you have made it this far." I scoffed.

"It's not authority that you need to obey. You need to show them you are competent enough to follow the right orders. Michelle taught me that." Adler replied.

"Tch. She also must have taught you about how much she hates authority." I replied smugly.

I remembered when Michelle had yelled at Adler earlier. I had never seen her mood change that fast, and her raise her voice at a friend before. It took me by surprise.

_She really has changed… _

I looked down at her still body. Her bandages had been changed, and her face had color returning to it. I gave a small smile, enough that Adler couldn't see it.

"You know… She is strong. She shouldn't have to prove herself to you for her to know that." He suddenly piped up.

"I never said she had to prove herself to me." I replied, annoyed.

"She mumbled that to me. Before passing out. She said… 'I made it this far. And I took down so many titans on my own. I told you I wasn't weak Levi.' Yeah, that doesn't sound like she doesn't have to prove herself." He sneered.

I looked down at her, brushing some of her long, red hair off of her face.

_Why would she think that? _

Then, I remembered.

_I was sitting at my desk, staring over old paper work. I couldn't keep my mind straight. My mind filled with Michelle. Why was she here? Didn't she know how dangerous it was? I should have known she was really going to come and find us… She just came too late. Oh Michelle…_

_A soft knock came from the door, making me look up. I picked up their files, and pushed them into a desk drawer. Picking up the previous files I had been working on, sighing._

"_Name and business?" I called out. _

"_Michelle Strauss. And I was asked to-." She replied. _

"_Come in." I interrupted. _

_The door opened slowly revealing the small, slender figure of Michelle. I hadn't gotten a good look at her before, but now that she was standing in from of me, I could tell she had definitely grown in the past 3 years. Her hair was longer and more vibrant, which the red always had suited her pale skin nicely. _

_**Wait… Why am I staring? **_

"_What is it that you needed Levi?" she asked, annoyed, crossing her arms. _

_I had to play the part of superior. I snapped out of it, pretending I had been looking down at the files the whole time. _

"_Tch." I clicked my tongue in equal annoyance, getting up from my chair. "Is that any way to address me? Anyone ever tell you to respect your leaders?" _

"_I don't respect people who act like they don't know me, after I spent all this time trying to find them." Michelle scowled. _

_I stopped just short of being in front of her. She was still shorter than me. She looked so vulnerable. I clenched my fists._

"_I would have rather you not have come. It's not safe for you here." _

_Her face turned up in a look of hatred._

"_I was top of my class in my graduating Cadets group. Don't tell me it's not for me. I know 3DM gear better than any of these sad saps, and you know that." I scoffed, turning away. _

_I couldn't answer. My words were caught in my throat. I returned the annoyed look, looking back at my desk. _

I rejected her strength, and caused her act like this. So it is my fault. She wouldn't have gone crazy, and put her life in danger if it hadn't been for me. Though, if she would've stayed away like I had asked…

Anger panged in my stomach, as I looked back down at her. I huffed, looking back up at Adler.

"You don't think every day that I don't regret leaving her behind to this? I wanted her safe. And away from this shit. Know that cadet, and where you stand. I made my decisions that would better my group and her. I lost them already. I'm not losing her." I replied.

"Lance Corporal…" Adler started.

Suddenly, a small groan met my ears, and stirred in my lap.

"I must have hit my head hard." Michelle's voice groaned.

"Michelle! You're awake!" Adler jumped to his feet.

"Yeah, I'm fine… I just need to-." She sat up, looking at me, then looking down.

Her face turned red, standing up quickly, looking like she was about to say something.

"You don't need to repay me. Let's just get moving." I stood up.

She nodded, checking her gear.

"You shouldn't fly just yet. You just woke up." Adler told her, going to put an arm around her shoulder.

She jerked away, the same look of panic on her face, then she turned away.

_Still not ready for touch yet…_

"I'm fine. Don't tell me what I can or cannot do Jonathon. Let's get going." She replied to him, her voice low and almost in a growling tone.

I was taken aback, watching her ready her gear, and took off into the forest.

_Well, damn..._


	12. The Revelation

*Michelle's POV*

I had never felt more embarrassed in my life. I actually passed out from blood loss during a mission. I should have just been left to the titans. But I wasn't. Someone had wrapped up my wounds, and someone had the decency to bring me up high onto a branch. My mind drifted to when I woke up. That part made me feel strange. Why was my head laying on Levi's lap, and why did it make my heart beat so fast?! I kept flying through the trees, hearing the sounds of zipping lines behind me.

"Michelle, you shouldn't push yourself." Levi said to me.

"I'm fine." I grumbled.

Another line met my ears, this time on my left flank.

"Will you stop? You literally just woke up. They will wait for us." Jonathon explained.

Jonathon tried to get close again, but I veered away from him.

"I need to keep moving. We've lost a lot of ground getting left behind. We need to catch up." I retorted.

Suddenly, a titan came crashing through the trees, towards us. 10 meter class.

"I'll handle this. You two keep going." Levi said to us, stopping to hang back to take the titan down.

"I'll help." I replied.

_I have to get my head back in the game. _

"Michelle. Follow orders that are given to you if you value your health and your life." He snapped.

I felt stunned, as Jonathon kept trying to pull me along. I threw him a look, staying a little bit behind him, keeping a watchful eye on Levi.

_You may not think of me that way anymore, but I will always watch your back like I always have. _

I watched Levi take the titan down with ease. He knew exactly where the titan would strike.

We kept moving. The trees flying past me. I realized how dark it had started to get. My stomach panged with guilt.

"How long was I out?" I asked, just looking straight forward.

"A few hours. You lost a lot of blood." Levi answered.

I cringed a bit. Shooting another line, it missed the tree causing me to fall. Wind whistling in my ears.

"Michelle!" Jonathon called.

Suddenly, I was caught by something.

_Not a titan…_

I looked up, seeing Levi. He brought me up to a branch. He pulled away, not even touching me.

_So he has been noticing…_

"You're not ready to fly. Just hold onto me, okay?" he said, his voice was smooth.

There was no anger or order. Just a soft tone. Comforting. I nodded, wrapping my arms around his neck. He loosened one of my straps, hooking it around his waist, then readied himself again.

"Adler I expect you to cover me. I can't fight while holding her, and I want to see if your skills are what they are cracked out to be." Levi turned to Jonathon.

He hesitated a little, but nodded. They both took off. It felt different being the one not controlling the movements.

_Farlan once carried me like this once… Back when I first met them… _

I tightened my grip around his neck. Levi's eyes stayed out in front, watching out.

_I've never been this close to Levi… _

"Stop shaking."

I froze. His voice sent more shivers down my spine. It was husky and low, but smooth like a violin.

"Sorry…" I muttered.

"It's fine. You're safe with me, and we will be to the resting point soon."

I nodded, keeping my arms tightly around him. I felt my cheeks heat up slightly.

_Of course I'm safe with you… _

"Adler, 10 meter." Levi suddenly called out.

"Got it!" Jonathon yelled back.

I couldn't see anything. I just heard the stomping footsteps, and the twang of wires. Fear rose up in my throat. I've never felt so helpless.

"It's going to be okay." Levi's voice met ears again.

More wires.

"Lance Corporal Levi! We'll lead you to the rest of the group." A voice called out.

"Right away. We have an injured soldier. We need medical help." Levi barked out.

"You got it sir."

We landed shortly after onto the ground. Levi unhooked our harnesses, and I tried to find footing on the ground. My leg throbbed, crumbling underneath me. Levi supported me, unclipping all of my gear, letting it hit the ground.

"You're done for this expedition. You're too injured. I can't have you getting hurt again." Levi scolded.

I sighed, feeling annoyed, but I knew he was right. He carried me off to an empty cart, setting me down carefully. Hanji came over, worried. Mika and the guys followed. Levi kept himself right next to the cart.

"I'm glad you guys made it back. You gave me quite a scare! Let's get you fixed up for real. It's going to need stitches so you will be confined to the cart, alright?" Hanji exclaimed, showing a medical bag she has with her.

I sighed, nodding silently. She started with my forehead, unwrapping the old bandage, and cleaning it out properly. I shrugged off my cape and jacket.

"Thanks for… you know… Saving me back there, Michelle. It was so cool!" Mika stuttered.

"Don't mention it. I would do anything to save you guys." I looked away.

"But, that means that you shouldn't pull crazy shit like that ever again, got it?" Raoul ruffled my hair.

"Oi! stop touching my hair!" I swatted his hands away.

Raoul let out a rare smile, chuckling. I shook my head, smiling back.

"I can't promise anything. But I promise I won't let myself get hurt so recklessly anymore."

"Good." Mika smiled.

Hanji wrapped up my head, and looked me over for anymore minor injuries.

"Anything else bothering you?"

"I have small scrapes and cuts other places, but my leg is bothering me the most." I replied.

She nodded, and began to remove my boots, then my belts. She stopped, and I realized why.

"We're going to have to remove your pants so I can wrap it properly."

I blushed a bit.

"You guys heard her. Scram!" Levi suddenly scowled.

"You too then, Levi. No peeking at a lady while she's hurt." Hanji interjected, winking at him.

He looked at Hanji ready to say something back. Our eyes met, and he stopped, and clicked his tongue. He pushed everyone away from the cart, and I could see a faint red streak Levi's face.

"Finally. I don't work well with an audience." Hanji sighed, smiling.

She helped me shimmy off my pants, getting around the huge cut in my leg. I glanced around, not seeing very many of the scouting regiment around.

"Where is everyone?"

"Many are out protecting the perimeter until we make our next move. And others… you know…" She replied.

"Oh…" I looked down.

_I'm completely useless now. I have no purpose here._

Hanji prepared my leg, cleaning all the dried blood away, and making sure nothing got in it. I winced, trying to fight off the pain from the tugging of the skin.

"It's the life out here. People make it, and some... well don't. Don't get too worked up over it. Here, bite into this." She shoved something into my mouth.

It was a piece of wet leather. It tasted horrible. Suddenly, I felt a sting, then my leg felt on fire. I saw the needle going in and out of my skin. Tears tracked down my face, as I leaned back on the cart.

"Don't move, or it will hurt more if you pull it."

She kept at it, working on my leg. I could have bitten right through the leather. Small tugs and pulls felt like pins and needles being set ablaze in my leg. I squeezed my fists tightly. She wiped the blood away periodically if it dripped too much. Suddenly, I felt a cooling sensation that spread over my leg. I saw Hanji spread some salve over the entire wound. Now, it was all bloody and red. The skin puckered under the stitches and salve.

"I'll wrap it up all nice, but you will have limited mobility for a week or two."

"This just sucks…" I muttered.

"The important thing though, is that you are okay, and Levi can breathe. I swear that he has been out of his mind worried since you passed out." Hanji joked.

I blushed.

"He… has?"

Hanji looked at me, then laughed.

"You are so cute." Hanji pinched my cheek.

I swatted her hand away, embarrassed. She chuckled, laying my cape across me to cover myself. She helped me scoot back against the head of the cart. Levi stalked back over to see if Hanji was done. Erwin was with him, and Levi nodded to Hanji.

"I'll be right back."

She left, leaving me alone. I looked around to see that we were in a small clearing with a few old houses than seemed to be abandoned long ago by the state they were falling apart.

_We have been behind those walls for over a hundred years… I wonder who had once lived there. _

I looked over to see Hanji in a private conversation by a tree. They continued talking, before they seemed to come to an agreement. Levi and Hanji came over to me. Erwin took off, probably going to check on other squads.

"We have agreed. The increased titan activity has made it unsafe for you to hang around here. We will have a few of us assist you back tonight. Titans are less active at night making it safe for you to return. But, we might end up returning tomorrow night if this titan activity increases." Hanji explained.

"I'll be heading back with you." Levi interjected.

_What? _

"Levi you can't do that. You are needed out here. You're more valuable to them." I exclaimed.

"I said I will be accompanying you back, and that's final."

"No. You're aren't just abandoning them because I'm injured. You are going to stay, and help them here. Where you're actually needed."

"Michelle…" he started.

"No. I may be useless, but I'm not dragging you down with me. I want you to stay out here, and fight until every single fucking titan is gone, you hear me? I'll wait for you to come back, so you better come back alive, and not leave me alone." I felt small tears prick the corners of my eyes.

He looked at me astounded, and surprised. Then nodded.

"Good. And you better return safe you dummy." I wiped my eyes.

Levi chuckled, catching me off guard.

"Of course."

I cracked a half smile as he walked away, returning to his awaiting group.

"I don't think I have ever seen him laugh, not even a smile. You really are something special." Hanji looked at me, rubbing her neck, chuckling, "Well, I guess I'll send our group back with you. Should have plenty of protection. Especially since its night."

"I'm ready to head out whenever they are." I nodded.

I looked back as Levi and his group took off into the trees. He was always swift and graceful when he used 3DM gear. Something inside me felt anxious about letting him go. I knew he belonged out here helping, but something just panged in my gut.

_Please return safe…_


	13. The Impatience

It's been a few days since we had gotten back. No word has been received, and no one had returned since we had gotten back. I was confined to a bed for the last 4 days. It turned out that I had come close to severing the artery in my leg, and I could've died. They were able to repair it with little damage. I had also sustained a fracture in both of my wrists so I couldn't put much strain on them. Sleep had rarely visited me. My pain kept me up part of the night, and worrying the other part. My mind couldn't get off of Levi. My heart always seemed to beat faster when thinking of him.

_Just my luck… _

Nurse Mary, who was visiting from the village nearby, said I had healed really nicely since I had returned. But I couldn't get out of the bed. I sighed, looking out the window into the courtyard outside. The sun was setting nicely in the distance throwing shadows around, and giving the sky a beautiful purple and orange tint.

_You wouldn't get this kind of view in the underground. _

"Knock Knock." The door opened slowly.

I had expected Mika, but Nurse Mary entered, half smiling.

"I thought you returned to the hospital, and couldn't be back for another few days?" I sat up in bed a bit.

"I can't leave a patient alone for too long. I came back to check on you, and see if the bandages needed to be changed at all."

"Probably need it since we changed them almost two days ago. If anything I need sleep." I half joked.

"You haven't been sleeping well?" she looked at me a little concerned.

"I can't really sleep comfortably all wrapped up. Nothing to worry about though."

"Why don't we change the bandages today then? We can give it a little air as well."

"If it looks okay, can I go outside? I do have those crutches to use." I glanced at the wooden crutched leaning against my wall.

"I don't think you will be ready yet. Let's just check your leg, alright?"

She helped me sit up, then balance on my side. She rolled up my nightgown enough to show my thigh completely wrapped up with a splint supporting it.

"There's no blood this time, so that's good." Mary pointed out.

"Yeah, good. Now if only I could walk." I sighed.

Mary shook her head silently, removing the splint, and unwrapping the wound.

"I'll give it some air while I run back to the infirmary to get some new bandages."

I nodded, looking over the wound as she left the room. It was an ugly purple and brown. The stitches were tightly holding the gash together. You could see where the skin was already reattaching itself. It was quite a sight to see. Hanji's stitches held up nicely, since they had been afraid to remove them, thinking it would rip the skin too much.

"I'm back." Mary called, entering the room. She dumped the supplies onto the bed, looking over the wound.

"This looks like it hurts."

"Hurts like hell. Hurt worse when Hanji had to stitch it up though." I cringed remembering the feeling.

"You're one of the lucky ones though." Mary spoke up.

She slathered some ointment all over the cut. It stung a little, but cooled.

"Why do you say that? I'm stuck in this bed, and I need your help just to get to the bathroom. I almost died from blood loss."

She grew silent again, as she finished with the ointment, and wrapped my leg up with new gauze, and put the splint back in place, securing it to my leg. She cleaned up all of the old bandages, and equipment.

_I might have struck a nerve…. Man, she probably thinks I'm an ass for not being grateful…_

"Listen. I didn't mean that I'm ungrateful. I just mean I feel useless not being able to help. I joined the Corps to find my friends, and be able to fight against the titans. I can't do that confined to a bed. Where I come from, if you can't move, that means you are useless and will be left behind…" I spoke up, rubbing the back of my neck.

Nurse Mary turned to look at me.

"You will heal soon enough, be lucky you are alive. Many of you don't return with even the chance of survival. Most soldiers if blood loss is too significant, they will leave you if they know you are too close to death. Feel lucky that you got to come back."

I cringed slightly, feeling the bite in her words.

"Just get some rest. I'll bring back food for dinner later. I'll be back in a bit."

She left the room, leaving me alone in my room. I looked back out the window. The sun had set significantly since I had last looked. A bird flew by, and off into the sky.

_I want to be free…. Is that so bad? _

I slid down in the bed, rolling over. My body felt exhausted.

"Hey Elle. We're going to go clean out the stables, and start dinner. You hungry?" Mika called into the room from the open door.

"No. I'm good."

"Nurse Mary said she will be back tomorrow to check up on you again. She said you may be able to walk around the courtyard."

My stomach curled at the mention of my nurse.

"Okay." I answered.

"Everything alright?"

"Just peachy."

"Okay… Well I will be back in a few hours. I'm sure you will be asleep. I know you haven't been getting any. " The door closed slowly, and the room filled with an uncomfortable silence again.

I sighed, closing my eyes.

_Maybe some sleep will do me some good… _

I yawned after a few minutes, my body feeling heavy. I haven't been able to sleep the past few nights. It felt like it was all hitting me at once. I yawned again, bigger. Feeling the sleepiness overtaking me slowly.

_I hope… Levi is… okay… _

I closed my eyes again. Feeling myself slip. Everything grew dark as I fell asleep.


	14. The Dream

Yelling. Someone was yelling. My name. The hair on the back of my neck stood up.

"Where in bloody name is Michelle?!" a gruff voice called.

I cowered, my back hitting a wall. The room was dark, and I couldn't see much. The light from a street lamp outside cast a little glow. I realized I was in an empty study. The door farthest from me opened. I cringed as the light turned on. I recognized her. I sighed, feeling relieved.

"Mrs. Calaveras." I spoke up.

"Lady Michelle. What are you doing in here?" she looked at me worried.

"I… was just looking for a place that's quiet."

"It's past dinner. And you aren't even down there."

"I'm sorry. I must have lost track of time." I apologized.

"Your parents have been waiting for you. And you aren't even dressed yet. Let me help you." She approached me.

She spun me around, and began to tighten up the corset on my dress. I breathed in a bit.

"Did you put your petticoats on under this right?"

"I've been doing this myself for a while now." I huffed.

"And I've been dressing you since you could walk."

She raised up my skirts, double checking my petticoats making me huff.

"It looks fine. You did a good job." She replied.

I looked down seeing I was dressed in a blue flowing gown with silver ribbon lining my waist. My feet had white slippers on them, and my gloves matched. I have a silver shawl wrapped around my shoulders. I didn't usually get dressed up, so this had to be a big deal. She finished, stepping in front to look me over.

"At least your hair is done up nice."

I touched my hair, feeling the soft curls in a half up, half down do.

"How do I look?" I asked.

"Just fine Lady Michelle. Your father and Lord Wilhelm are expecting you." Mrs. Calaveras grabbed my wrist, pulling me out of the study.

She seemed to be in a rush, and I didn't blame her. My father was a usually punctual man, and anyone got punished if things didn't go his way. I cringed thinking of the last time he had gotten angry at me.

Down the hall, I heard glasses clinking, and laughter carrying on through the air. She pushed the door opened, bowing once I entered.

The table was set, my father sat at the head of the table, my mother to the right of him followed by William, Francis, James, and Marcus. William gave me a hopeful smile. An older couple with a younger male took the left side. I had only met him a few times previous from galas and business meetings when he came to see father. Raoul Wilhelm. We used to be childhood friends until his family sent him to a school on the other side of Sina when he turned 10 for young boys looking to join the military one day. He looked completely different.

He smiled at me from across the table, calming me down a bit.

_Maybe he wasn't so different than before…_

"Michelle. How wonderful of you to grace us with your presence." My father's eyes narrowed at me.

_He's been drinking. Just stay calm, and everything will be okay. _

I curtseyed, going to my seat next to Marcus who looked at my nervously.

"We were just talking about your engagement darling." My mother looked at me with sad eyes.

"Engagement?" I asked confused.

"Don't play coy. Remember? We told you that either you can join the cadets and become a Military Police member, or get married. Lord Wilhelm's son, Raoul, has agreed to marry you." My father spoke up, looking at me, wanting me to obey him.

I looked at the blonde man across from me. I had known him as kids, and it wasn't fair to say that he hadn't grown up nicely. He was tall and built, and not bad looking. Raoul had that look that made any young lady lust after him. But his demeanor was a bit quiet and stand offish.

"I don't have any recollection of this or even making a decision. And I believe I have only just turned 15. Shouldn't I wait to mature as a lady?"

"You wait any longer child, and no men will ever be interested in you. Be lucky my boy is interested in you." The woman sitting next to Raoul stuck up her nose.

"Mother don't be rude to her." Raoul spoke.

The room got silent. The door opened, and the kitchen staff came in, setting the table, and our plates in front of us.

"I'm sure you and Raoul will be a perfect match. You two have known each other since you were children." My mother said, pushing her food around her plate.

I sighed, picking up my glass, taking a drink.

"And if you wait any longer, I'm sure you won't be able to have any children to bear for an heir." Raoul's mother added.

I spit out my drink, choking. Raoul looked at me with the same reaction.

"I think kids is definitely out of the question." I replied.

"William, your daughter is completely useless, and will never make a good wife for my boy." Raoul's mother scoffed.

"Mother!" Raoul shouted.

I frowned, feeling claustrophobic.

"I think that I'm going to take my leave now." I stood up.

"Michelle. You sit down this instance." My father demanded, slamming his fist down on the table.

"Dear." My mother put a hand on his shoulder.

He shook it off looking angrier. I looked at my mom worried. She held up her hand, warning me off.

"This is why I never wanted a daughter. Too much trouble, and completely useless in every way."

My face turned red, being embarrassed like this.

"Well, maybe you won't have a daughter anymore." I walked past him.

He grabbed my arm, pulling me back hard.

"You will never leave this house until I say so." He growled.

I spit in his face. He lurched back, and I took off running.

"Michelle!" he bellowed.

I took many turned down hallways, finally running into an abandoned room. I looked around the room seeing it was one of the guest bedrooms.

_Not many places to hide. And If I just hide, I'm sure I will just get a worse beating. _

My eyes landed on the window. I ran to it, throwing it open. I looked down seeing the street was abandoned.

_Good… No one around. _

The jump was a few stories down. I heard him banging down the hallway. The door of the room next to this one banged open. Panicking, I slid out the window, holding onto the ledge.

_Just stay still, and maybe they won't come to the window. _

The door busted open.

"Michelle!"

The voice drew nearer to the window, and I grew scared.

"Found you." A voice laughed.

I saw my father's face twisted up into a grimace. I shrieked, making me jump. I let go of the ledge. I let out a scream, falling.

Instead of hitting the ground hard, I kept falling. My back never reaching the pavement. Everything turned black around me. I looked around seeing nothing. My dress was fading. My body was fading away. I felt myself letting go.

_Levi…. Help. Levi!_

"Michelle!"

I sat up fast, feeling someone shaking my shoulders. Tears were running down my face. I looked around confused, and scared.

"Michelle? Are you okay? What's going on?" Mika's face appeared in front of me.

I looked at her. My eyes widened, looking around the room. I was in my room. With Mika. I was safe. Te thing that I had saw…

_It was a dream…. A memory… A horrible memory…._

I tucked my head between my thighs. The pain no longer bothered me.

_What the hell is going on?!_


	15. Mika's Thoughts

Mika's POV

We all sat around the table in the empty mess hall. Michelle didn't allow any of us to enter. She wanted to be alone after waking up. Even in the middle of a panic attack, she wouldn't let anyone enter the room. Raoul has sat outside the door for over an hour, waiting for her to open the door.

Raoul trudged into the room, looking upset.

"Still won't open the door?" I asked.

He shook his head, sitting down.

"What could she have dreamt up that was so bad?" Christopher spoke up.

Jonathon smacked the back of his head.

"Ow! What was that for?" Christopher whined.

"That wasn't very nice." I frowned, looking at Jonathon.

"Think about it. While we were all living our own normal lives. Michelle lived in the underground for who knows how long before joining the cadets. Sure her father was a Commander, but that means shit. You even know what life has been like? It's probably hell down there with no sun light, gangs, and barely no food. Think before you speak." Jonathon pointed out.

We all grew silent, realizing he was right.

"We don't even know about her life before that. How can we be her friends…?" I mumbled feeling bad.

Raoul clicked his tongue, looking out the window.

"We shouldn't feel bad for her. We should only be happy she is safe." Raoul spoke up.

"True…"

"I'm going to go check on her." Raoul stood up, leaving the mess hall.

"You just sat outside her room for over an hour. Plus, she locked the door." I pointed out.

"It will be okay."

He turned, and left. Leaving the dining hall silent.

"I'm going to check on the horses. Might as well keep this place up, and running." Jonathon sighed, leaving us as well.

Christopher looked at me.

"Our group seems to be dividing. What shall we do?" Christopher looked at me.

"I don't know. But this has to be fixed. As soon as Levi returns, she will feel better." I spoke up.

"Levi?"

"It's pretty damn obvious at this point, don't you think?" I chuckled.

"What is?"

I rubbed Christopher's knee comfortingly before standing up.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"To help Jonathon with the stables. Work still needs to be done around here." I smirked.

I turned to leave hearing him scramble to get up.

"At least tell me what is supposed to be obvious!" he yelled.

I walked outside to the stables, Christopher finally catching up. He kept asking me to tell him, but I told him a lady never tells. I brushed my hair out of my face, feeling the sun on my skin. Entering the stables, I saw Jonathon sitting on a turned over bucket in front of a stable.

"What's up?"

"Lily is getting restless. Michelle hasn't been able to leave to come out here, and I have to sit here until she is calm." He huffed.

"That's why you have been coming out here frequently." I chuckled.

I walked over to him, seeing Lily snort, shaking her mane around. Her eyes looked over us. I walked to the gate, reaching out to stroke her nose. She leaned into my touch, whinnying. I smiled.

"You just need attention. Michelle will see you soon, don't worry." I hugged her snout.

"I'll gather more hay if you want to help me start cleaning out the stables." Jonathon spoke up.

I looked back at him smiling.

"Sure. I'll stay here with Lily for a second."

Jonathon nodded. I sighed.

"Mika, I always wonder how you are so calm. Even after what we faced a few days ago. We weren't even out there a day, and Michelle got hurt. You could have died." Christopher suddenly spoke up.

I cringed thinking of that. I wanted to forget it. But, I was still here. Michelle had saved me, but paid a price.

"I'm still living, and I owe it to Michelle to stay happy. You should think about what really happened out there, and what it meant to her." I looked at him.

His round blue eyes looked at me in amazement.

"Go help Jonathon. I'll start picking up things around the stables."

He looked down then nodded. I looked back towards the dormitory. I sighed again.

_Maybe something Raoul can do to get her out of that room… _


	16. An Understanding

Michelle's POV

I pulled my knees into my chest, trying to calm myself down.

_I never wanted to think about that again…. But… I can't say that I don't miss… my brothers. And mother. Oh mother… If only you were still here…_

My eyes teared up. I buried my face into my knees, my breathing becoming uneven again. Another panic attack. Mika wasn't here to calm me down. I regretted pushing her out of the room. I needed someone else to calm me down.

_Levi… I hate to admit it… But… I need you… _

A knock came to the door. I shrunk into myself. I didn't want to move from my spot on the bed. I sat there, listening quietly until another knock came from the door.

"Michelle It's me."

Raoul.

"Go away." I strained to say.

"I'm coming in anyways."

I huffed, starting to get up, when suddenly the door cracked, opening. Wide eyed, I looked at Raoul.

"Don't break things that aren't yours." I scolded

"You can't just stay locked in here all day."

"I can try though…" I looked away, scowling.

Footsteps approached my bed, but I kept looking out the window, trying to ignore him. Then, silence. A small tap came to my shoulder, making me annoyed.

"Raoul will you just leave me-!" I shrieked, as a pair of arms scooped me up.

I clung to his jacket, trying to find balance.

"Raoul! Don't do that so suddenly!" I blushed hard, scolding him.

He smirked, heading towards the door.

"Where are we going?!" I stuttered.

"Outside."

"At least let me change. I'm still in my night clothes." My face turned redder.

"Fine."

Raoul sets me back down on the bed.

"Just grab me my-."

"This should do." Raoul suddenly said.

He slung something around me. The faint scent caught my nose.

"This cape?" I blinked, looking down at the fabric.

It was soft and worn, the green fabric fading in places. The faint scent of black tea filled my nose. I sighed softly.

_Levi's…_

"Let's go then." Raoul picked me up again.

"Let me walk with my crutches. This is ridiculous."

"Just let me do something nice for you. I'm sure your legs are still weak from lying in bed all these days."

Raoul wasn't one to change his mind once it was set to what he wanted to do.

"Fine…" I looked away, gripping his jacket once more.

He pushed the door open, walking down the hallway slowly.

"So… Another nightmare was it?"

I frowned.

"Mika tell you that?"

"She didn't have to for me to know what was really going on with you. You have had many since we have joined the Scouting Regiment."

"What of it?" I looked at him, annoyed.

"What was it about this time that made it bother you?"

My body stiffened. My hands tightened around his jacket.

_I can't…_

My throat constricted on itself, as I looked away from his gaze. He sighed deeply, continuing outside.

"Michelle…"

"It's nothing alright! Just leave me be." I growled.

"Fine. But we are here."

I looked around seeing nothing but the empty training ground, and a wide open field. And the giant oak tree.

"You would sit here sometimes after training, and I figured it's as good place as any to talk."

He set me down carefully, then sat next to me. I leaned against the trunk, feeling the wind blow gently through my hair. I stretched my toes a bit.

"Talk about what?"

"About you."

I looked over at him. His face looked serious. His bright blue green eyes landed on me. He sighed, running his hands through his short wavy blonde hair in frustration. I turned away, feeling myself shrink.

_I've never seen him so… distraught… _

"Do… Do you remember the day I first saw you in the cadets?"

"Of course. You acted like you didn't know who I was." I replied in distaste.

"I did it to protect you." He shot back.

I tried to say something, but I couldn't find the words to fire back. I sighed, crossing my arms, glancing off into the field.

"Why would you want to protect me? I caused you disgrace in front of your own parents. I caused my own family disgrace for doing what I did."

A hand gripped my shoulder tightly, making me wince. His eyes burned into me, forcing my gaze away.

"Michelle. Look at me."

I couldn't. I felt the tears beginning to well up in my eyes. I never wanted to remember the past again.

"I hadn't seen you in three years. Three years my mother tried shipping me off and on another noble family. Three years I spent worrying and thinking about the night you left. Watching your father try to run after you. Your brothers were furious when he returned saying you had ran away. You aren't a disgrace."

Why? Why would you worry about me?" my voice croaked.

"Why wouldn't I worry about you? I care-."

"Don't. Don't say that. Anyone who ever has just ends up leaving me in the end."

Raoul's hand gently gripped my chin, making me look at him. His expression was calmer now.

"Why do you say that?"

I sighed. My lips quivered, not wanting to speak. I felt a sob rise in my throat, but I choked it back, trying not to cry any more than I was.

"You left me when we were kids. My brother each left in turn to when they enlisted into the cadets. My mother… passed away shortly after I left. The only friends I had in the underground left me… I've pushed everyone away in turn. I don't deserve having you care about me."

Suddenly, I was pulled forward in a massive hug. Raoul's arms around me comfortingly. Tears rolled down my cheeks effortlessly as I clung to his shoulder.

"We all care about you. We are here for you. I've always cared about you. And it seems that you now have two guys who are competing on who cares for you more."

"What do you mean?" I pulled away, looking at him confused.

He chuckled.

"Really? You aren't seeing it? Jonathon and Lance Corporal Levi."

My face felt hot.

"During the expedition, you could tell. They both were trying to protect you, and got equally annoyed at each other for interacting with you. Even before the expedition, I saw the two of them glaring at each other."

I sighed, scooting away, crossing my arms.

"Now you are just being ridiculous Raoul. Why would-?" I huffed, suddenly stopping.

_No… It couldn't be true… _

"Michelle?"

I stiffened, my eyes widened.

"Michelle, please talk to me."

_"Oi! Not a time to doze off now, brat!" a loud bark from the side came._

_Jonathan shot up, looking at Levi as his horse approached ours. His squad stayed by him, ready to take the lead with us. I could see glares exchanged between the two, making the air feel heavy._

"I know you're worried about Levi."

I broke out of my trance, looking at Raoul skeptically.

"I wanted to tell you that you shouldn't be. He can take care of himself."

"Tch. Of course he can take care of himself. He's a legend in the underground. He's a thug. A fighter. I trust he will make it back alright." I clicked my tongue in annoyance.

"But you still find yourself worried every night before bed."

I crossed my arms, ready to say something, but I couldn't find the words.

_He wasn't lying… _

Wondering what could be taking them so long. Wondering why they aren't back yet."

"Just what are you getting Raoul?" I snapped.

Raoul sighed.

"I know you are worried, and don't be afraid to tell me. I just want you to start trusting me again."

"Raoul I never said I didn't trust you. I just…"

I buried my face into my lap.

A hand rested on my back.

"What's wrong?"

"Ever since I got here, I don't feel the same. Everything seems to be working against me. The whole Raymond situation, Levi acting cold to me, the whole expedition, I've acted different towards you all. I haven't been myself. Hell, our group doesn't even know the real me. Erwin was getting on my nerves at every turn about military shit and my father…. I just… I just want to feel okay again. I want these nightmares to go away. Sometimes I want to go home, but I'm sure my brothers don't care. What home to I have?"

Suddenly, I was pulling into a tight hug. My eyes widened, unable to move.

"It's just new things. Sure it's all been fucked up since the beginning. But it will all work out. When Levi gets back I want you to talk to him. And no one has to know about your past if you don't want them to. Michelle. Look at me."

I looked up, feeling the tears still falling down my face.

"I'll always be here okay? You are never alone."

I nodded, hugging him again.

"Raoul. You're the closest thing to family I have. Thank you… For being here for me."

He grinned.

"No problem."

_Walking into the camp, I felt my stomach twist in knots. I haven't been alone since I had left Levi, Farlan, and Isabel. _

_**God I hope they are okay… **_

"_Come on Cadet." A soldier pushed me slightly._

"_Watch who you touch." I growled. _

"_I don't care if you're some noblewoman. Here, you are just another brat cadet who has enlisted with no other choice in life. Now, get into the dining hall before we do roll call." He sneered, pushing open a set of double doors. _

_Moving through, the shut tightly behind me. Every table was full of scared yet eager faces of kids. I walked in cautiously. There was so many of them. _

_**Boy do there recruit them young… **_

"_Raoul! Come on. I don't know my way around." A loud voice spoke. _

_Someone bumped into me, making me trip. Stumbling, a turned around, grabbing at my belt, suddenly realizing my knife wasn't there. It had been confiscated before entering the camp, and making me wear this ridiculous cadet uniform. _

"_Sorry! I didn't mean to bump into you! Are you okay?"" A girl with brown short hair spoke up. _

'_Yeah, I'm- fine…" I sneered, looking back, suddenly caught off guard. _

"_Well that's good." She smiled. _

_They both turned around, my heart racing. _

"_Raoul?" _

_He turned to me. _

"_Do you… know who I am?" I asked. _

_He looked at him unamused. The girl looked at both of us confused. _

"_I don't think I have ever seen you before." He turned around, leaving. _

_I froze, looking at him in disbelief. I looked down at my boots. _

"_Sorry about him. I'm sure you will find who you are looking for. I'm Mika by the way. If you need anything you can talk to me." The girl approached me, putting a hand on my shoulder. _

_I half smiled, looking at her, the nodding. I walked away, towards the door of the mess hall. _

"_Where are you going cadet?" a soldier by the door asked. _

"_Just outside." _

"_You don't have clearance to leave yet. You will stay here until roll call." _

"_And what makes you think that I can't walk outside like a-." _

_He grabbed my arm, hard. I saw cadets looking at us now, curious. _

"_You are stepping out of line. Do I need to get the commander in here now?" he threatened. _

"_Bite me Military dog." I growled. _

"_I'll walk you personally to the commander's office then. See what punishment he gives you." He gripped my arm harder, opening the door. _

"_I'll walk her to the office." A voice came up behind me. _

_I looked back seeing Raoul standing there. I looked back at the soldier. He sighed, annoyed. _

"_Why would you take her?" _

"_Its almost time for roll call. Surely you leaving your post wouldn't fair too well." _

_The soldier sneered, relaxing on his grip. _

"_You know this girl, Raoul?" _

"_You know me. That should be enough." Raoul smirked. _

_The soldier looked down at me, huffed, then pushing me into Raoul's arms. I stumbled, Raoul catching me, then leading me out of the mess hall. He walked me outside, not saying a word. I pushed away from him, irritated. _

"_Don't touch me." _

_He covered my mouth. Struggling to get away, he pulled me behind a building. _

"_Be quiet. They will here you." _

"_Tell me what's going on then? I'm a little lost." I crossed my arms. _

"_I'm trying to help you." _

"_Tch. You're real funny. Not five minutes ago, you are denying my existence, and now you want to help me? That's rich Raoul. What are you even doing here? I don't remember Lord Wilhelm wanting you to-." He covered my mouth again, cutting me off. _

"_My father thinks I'm dead. I ran away. It's Raoul Lennox now. I'm here to help you. I heard you were found, and enlisted." _

_I looked at him amazed. _

"_I… I don't understand." _

"_I've been looking for you since you left, but I couldn't ever get clearance to the underground. I had a feeling that's where you were. Guess I was right. I'm sorry I never came for you sooner." _

_I stood there froze. _

_**Someone did care for me. **_

I pulled away from Raoul. I smiled.

"We should get something to eat."

"Yeah. I do feel hungry."

"Hey you guys! Christopher just finished lunch. Come on!" Mika ran up to us.

"Heard he got his hands on some chicken." Jonathon added.

My mouth was watering.

"Well let's go then." I exclaimed, getting up, leaning against the tree.

"Here, let me help you." Raoul stood up.

"No. I got it."

I pushed off the tree stumbling a bit.

Jonathon held out his arms, but I shooed him away, limping slowly towards the mess hall.

_I'm not going to be weak anymore. I'm not going to hold back anymore. Levi you better get your ass back here now. We really need to talk. _


	17. A Trip

I had never been more impatient from my life.

"It's been 6 days since we returned. You think they wouldn't take so long." I huffed, crossing my arms.

"Expeditions take a while. They only said they would return earlier if the titan activity increased too much. You have to accept that. They'll be home soon, don't worry." Mika chuckled.

"What if something happened though? I can't help, but feel worried." I looked out the window.

Mika reached out, touching my hand.

"They are okay. Don't worry. Why don't we find something to do?" She smiled.

"Can I go outside like yesterday? It was nice not being cooped up." I asked.

_I was able to sit under my tree, and enjoy the outside. I hate being cooped up. _

"You snuck outside yesterday when you weren't supposed to. You need to-." Mika started.

"I didn't really sneak out if Raoul took me outside."

"You need to stay in bed, Michelle. You need to rest."

"I hate this. I don't want to be inside any longer." I huffed.

"The nurse, Mary, said that you have to rest today. You can't be moving around all that much, remember? Hanji did warn you that you would be stuck for a few weeks in bed."

"Doesn't mean I have to enjoy it."

"Hey." A voice called, entering my room.

"Hey Raoul. Tell Mika that I should be able to go outside again. It's too nice to be cooped up in here." I begged.

"Well, maybe it's a good time to getting going then." Raoul chuckled.

I didn't realize that Raoul looked dressed, ready to go somewhere.

"You leaving?" I asked.

"We're going into Trost to get some food. With most everyone gone, we pretty much have to make our own food."

"Into Trost? I want to go! Maybe they will be heading back today." I exclaimed, jumping up on the bed.

"It's a long shot, but I'm sure you could come with us. We have to get the nurse's permission first." He replied, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Oh, Mary left for the day. Since I'm the only one in this place that's injured, I told her she could go home, so she went home for the day. "

"That explains why I haven't seen her." Mika piped up.

"Michelle." Raoul looked at me.

"What? I'm doing just fine. I cleaned it out yesterday. It's healing well, and actually its pretty closed up. I'm okay."

Raoul chuckled, shaking his head.

"Well then. I guess get dressed, and get ready. We'll leave in a few. Raoul is just getting the carriage ready for us-."

"I want to ride Lily into Trost."

"It's not safe to have your leg bouncing around like that." Mika interjected.

"I want to ride her. I'll be safe. Lily would never hurt me. I'm not sitting in a stuffy carriage. I said I want to get out, and enjoy outside. Now, get me my crutches, I'm getting dressed." I replied, stern and adamant about riding Lily into Trost.

Mika sighed, getting my crutches that were leaning against the wall.

"There's no stopping you when you have you mind set on something. How about we put a splint in your leg to keep it straight? At least let us do that." Raoul bargained.

"Fine, fine. Just let me get dressed." I exclaimed, standing up carefully as Mika handed me my crutches. I balanced myself.

"Okay, okay. Raoul, leave. It's not appropriate to watch a lady get dressed." Mika sighed, pushing Raoul out.

"I'm going. I'll get Lily ready then."

Raoul left, and I walked over to my closet.

"Can you help me with my nightgown?"

"Yes, if you will just take a seat. You shouldn't rush." Mika sighed, opening the door.

I pointed out my day clothes. Mixed in, I saw a familiar flash of green.

"How… come you have two capes?" Mika asked pulling the odd one out.

_Levi… When I was attacked… gave it to me… _

"It's… nothing… Just hand it to me." I muttered.

"Wait… It smells like that black tea that Corporal makes. It's his isn't it?! Why do you-?" She exclaimed.

I took it from her hands, holding it close to me. It still smelled like the tea he had made that night… I kept it nice because…

"It comforts me, alright… Don't… touch it…" I blushed, setting it down on the bed.

Sitting as well, I ran my hands over the creased, smoothing them out as I went.

_Why do I feel weird having this? It's not mine, but he gave it to me… _

Suddenly, a hand rested on my shoulder.

"I get it. Don't worry." Mika smiled.

I looked up at her in amazement.

_She was immature, scared, forgetful… Being here, she has matured greatly. She is only 16, but… surpasses me in patience by many years… I can't believe I have missed this._

"Thank you." I smiled back.

"We all know you have a little thing for the Corporal anyways. You aren't very sneaky." Mika giggled.

"What?! I don't… like him… It's nothing, really." I blushed harder, burying my face into his cape.

She laughed at me, making my whole face red.

"Okay, Okay. I'll stop. Now, let's get you dressed."

She helped me out of my nightgown, and into my day clothes. Just an old red skirt that met just above my ankles, white button up shirt, and a dark brown vest. I slung Levi's cape around me, feeling the warmth. Mika helped me into my ankle boots, as I stood up once again. I gripped the crutches firmly, walking forward.

"This shall take more getting used to." I tried to stay steady.

Mika laughed, putting an arm around my shoulders.

"You'll be just fine. Let's get going so we can be back in time for supper."

"Hand me my satchel. I can't leave without it."

"Got it."

Mika slung the bag around me, and I tucked it under my cape. A knock came to the door.

"Come in." I called.

Christopher entered, holding a weird contraption. I looked at him confused.

"It's a leg brace, it should help keep your leg straight while riding. Raoul told me to grab it since you were coming with us."

Christopher attached it to my leg, being wary of my wound. I cringed slightly, as he brushed against it.

"Sorry."

"It's fine. It just feels… funny." I looked down at it, trying to walk.

"It will help though. Let's get going while we still have sun light."

They helped me out of the dorms where Raoul was waiting with the carriage. Jonathon held the reins of Lily tight in his hand.

"Are you sure it's safe for you to ride? I don't think you should be pushing it on a bad leg." Jonathon asked, looking up at Lily.

"Lily, down." I gestured.

She whinnied, laying down on the ground.

"Help me up please."

"Michelle." Jonathon said sternly.

"What?" I asked impatiently.

"Never mind."

"Jonathon, I'm fine. Just lift me up."

Jonathon sighed, shaking his head, then lifted me up onto Lily's saddle. I patted her neck, and she stood up slowly. Jostling me a bit, I corrected myself, tucking my feet into the stirrups.

"We'll ride into Trost, gather up dinner, and should be back in time to make dinner. Keep an eye out for travelers." I said, looking over to my group.

"It should be a quick trip. Since we're only grabbing food for us." Christopher pointed out.

"We already know the stands. It will be a quick in and out. Alright?" Raoul added.

I pulled on the reins, and Lily whinnies, breaking into a nice jog. I smirked.

"Let's ride. On to Trost!"


	18. The News

"Ma'am? Can I ask you to leave the horse out here?" A Garrison soldier asked me.

"What? Why?" I sneered.

"It's just for the best. Horses don't usually fare well in the market place."

"Michelle, its fine. I have your crutches, okay?" Raoul came up to my horse.

I huffed.

"At least let me have her with me for support. I am not leaving her here. She has problems with being in new places without me."

The Garrison soldier was looking a little annoyed.

"Johns, just let her take it. Its fine." a higher up officer came over, handing Jontathon our papers.

"Thank you." I nodded.

"Open the gates!"

The stone gates began to rise. Raoul hooked my crutches safely to one of the saddle bags.

"You ever been to the Trost District?" I asked Raoul.

"Only a few times. It's more of the nicer districts on the outer walls of Maria. It has been busier ever since the Colossal Titan destroyed the Shigashima."

"Okay, everyone stay close together when passing through the tunnel."

I tightened Lily's reins, making her walk forward. The tunnel was dimly lit with torching decorating the wall. Guards were posted every few feet, including the staircase that ascended up to the top of the wall.

"I remember passing through here before the mission. It didn't seem to be this guarded." I looked around.

"Before we were on a mission, passing through based on clearance. We're civilians at the moment." Raoul explained.

"It still seemed a bit much for even civilians." Jonathon added.

"We're having some problems with the canons up top. We have extra guards in case anything happens. Ever since the Shigashima accident, any wall repairs are done under extra guards." The Garrison member, Johns spoke up.

"Makes sense. Has there been any… accidents since then?" I asked.

"None too major. Most titans have stayed away from the wall in recent times." He replied, hands tightening around his gun.

I nodded.

We continued until we stopped at a wall. They shouted for the gate to be raised. Lily whinnied, Raoul petted her mane. Our eyes met, and he smiled. A small smile crossed my lips. The gate began to open, sunlight flooding the opening.

"Welcome to the Trost District."

We walked into the light, the town coming into view.

"It doesn't look too busy." I looked around.

"This is more of residential part of town. The business district is closer to the center."

We walked into the district, taking in all the buildings around us. Most of them were standard builds that had been reflected throughout all the districts.

"These look a lot like the homes I saw in the forest. But much bigger." I commented.

"Most buildings were supposed to be reflections of the past. Many of these home multiple families." Christopher spoke up.

"Don't you live here Christopher?" I asked.

I looked down at Christopher. He looked a little uncomfortable talking about it.

"Yeah. I do." He replied, looking away.

I've never been able to get to know Christopher very well. He was very outspoken and clung to Mika most of the time. He was the same way during our training days. I could tell being here made him on edge.

"Is your family still around?" I asked.

"I'd rather not see them, Michelle. Let's just get to the business district. It's down this street." He muttered, pointing down a road.

He began walking ahead of us, making my heart drop into my stomach.

"Don't take it personally. He has never gotten along with his family." Mika walked up to Lily.

I nodded, knowing exactly how that felt. Christopher kept walking ahead, us slowly following behind until we saw the stalls and openings of shops.

"It looks like we are entering the business district. There sure is a lot of shops around here." Jonathon spoke up.

"Yeah… A lot."

Keeping Lily at a slow pace, I was hoping we would blend into the crowds. But everyone kept pointing.

"Why is everyone looking at us?" I looked at Raoul.

"It's probably your cape." He pointed out.

Suddenly, two little kids ran up to us. A Little boy and girl. I stopped Lily.

"Are you guys in the Scouting Regiment?" the little girl asked.

"Why yes we are." Mika smiled, bending down to their level.

"My mommy says that you people are foolish to go outside the walls. Because lots of you don't return." The boy spoke up, playing with his hands.

Mika seemed taken back by the statement. She looked to me, and I wasn't sure what to say either.

"But big brother says you are very brave! He wants to join you guys some day!" the girl added.

"I guess we are very brave." Mika commented.

"I'm sure your big brother wants to be brave for you guys." Jonathon knelt down too.

"Yeah, he is super brave! But mommy won't let him go on account she thinks he won't return." The boy replied.

"Harriet! Johnny! Get back here!" an older boy ran to us.

"Ed! Look! They're in the Scouting Regiment!" the boy Johnny pointed to us.

"I'm so sorry for them to interrupt you. I didn't think they would run off." The older boy, Ed, apologized.

"It's quite alright. They weren't causing any trouble." I smiled.

"Ed! She's on a big horse! Maybe if you join you can give me a ride on the big horse!" the girl, Harriet, exclaimed, pointing to Lily.

"You want to ride one now?" I asked.

"Can I? Can I?" Harriet beamed at her brother.

"Are you sure its alright?" he asked skeptically.

"Sure. I don't mind. Raoul? Can you help her up?"

Raoul nodded, smiling. He picked up the little girl, handing her to me. I sat her in front of me. She giggled like crazy.

"Lily." I said.

Lily whinnied, moved forward a bit.

"Wow! It's so high up here! It's so much fun! Look at me Johnny! Ed!" she waved at her brothers.

"Yeah. You are so tall now." Ed chuckled.

"The Scouting Regiment are so cool!" Johnny exclaimed.

"It's not all fun and games, Johnny! It's serious. They go up against the titans that are right outside our walls. They will eat you with one bite." Ed spoke up.

"I'm sure they aren't scary." Johnny crossed his arms.

Our little group exchanged looks. Lily trotted back over to the little boy.

"Hey, Raoul. Can you get my crutches? I'm going to walk."

He looked at me, smiling, and then nodding. I handed Harriet back to Jonathon who sat her down on the ground. Raoul unhooked my crutches from the bag.

"Are you sure you should be walking?" Jonathon asked.

"I'm fine. I need to get strength in this leg anyways."

Raoul handed the crutches over to Mika, and he came over to help me down. He set me down, my feet just touching the ground. Mika helped me get the crutches under my arms, and I walked a few steps forward.

"Comfortable?" Raoul asked.

"Yeah. It's getting easier to walk." I smiled.

"Why do you have to use those?" Harriet asked.

"Because I went up against one of those titans."

The two's eyes got wide.

"Really? Was they big?" Johnny asked.

"Huge. But don't worry. I killed them for good. They can't hurt anyone else!" I winked.

"Wow!" they said in unison.

I chuckled at them, suddenly realizing someone was missing. Looking around, I saw Christopher far ahead, looking at a stall.

"I'll be right back." I said, before heading off.

Walking forward a bit, then kept a steady pace to catch up with Christopher, as he continued to another stall.

"Hey." I called out.

Christopher stopped, looking at me.

"You got pretty far ahead." I huffed a little.

"Saw you guys were entertaining those kids, so I kept walking." He shrugged his shoulders, turning around.

I reached out for his shoulder.

"Sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to offend you…"

"Michelle, it's alright. You don't have to apologize." He spoke up.

"Really I do. I mean… You are one of my friends, so I'm sorry I was insensitive. I know how it goes not wanting to see the family you don't get along with. You don't have to worry, because we are like your family. So cheer up, alright?" I smiled.

Christopher smiled, nodding.

"I'll show you guys all my favorite-." Christopher started.

Suddenly shouting sounded from all streets. People rushing past.

"What's going on?"

"Guys! They're back!" Mika called out to us.

My heart began pounding hard.

_Levi….!_

Raoul ran to us, holding Lily's reins.

"Raoul, help me up on Lily." I said, rushed.

He nodded, giving me a boost.

Lily whinnied, and I pulled her reins to calm her. I took off as fast as Lily would go through the crowd. The gates opened slowly. Soldiers filing in. Many were bandaged, and bruised. And there seemed to be so few. Searching the crowd frantically, my heart was beating out of my chest, filling with hope. I spotted Hanji, slumped on her horse. That usual look of excitement, gone. Erwin rode a few horses ahead of her. He had the same look on his face.

"Hanji!" I called, riding to her.

She looked up at me surprised, and stiff.

"I'm glad to see you are okay. Where's Levi?" I asked, looking around, worried.

"He's…" she started.

"No… He can't be…" I felt the tears burn in my eyes.

"He was badly injured, we got the bleeding to stop, but he hasn't woken up yet. We need to get him to the infirmary to look at his wounds better." Erwin finished for Hanji.

"But… He's okay?"

"Let's just get him back to headquarters, okay?" Hanji tried to reassure me.

"He's in the cart right behind us." Erwin pointed out.

We rode on as fast as we could. I didn't bother stopping to tell Mika and the others I was returning. I saw Levi laying there in the cart, clothes torn and bloody.

_Oh Levi… Please be okay… _


	19. The Feelings

Sprained ankle- possible bruising to bone, burns covering the arms, bruised ribs, numerous cuts and gashes, and possible concussion. The words played over and over in my head. The cruel words decorated the medical report in front of me. The only thing now laying on his desk, as I had in a fit tossed everything onto the floor. My hand covered my mouth, trying to stifle a sob.

_Levi…. _

He hadn't woken up yet. They had brought him back the headquarters hours ago, rushing Nurse Mary and the closest doctors they could get to fix him up. Each had left when they were called away to help other injured members. Seeing out the window, I had noticed the sun had set, and the night was falling quickly.

_Levi…_

I hadn't been allowed into his room to see him because they feared that I could cause him stress. I was forced to sit in this chair in his office waiting for him to wake up. My hands tightened into fists. In anger, my fist slammed down into the desk. I pushed the file to the ground, it joined the rest of the papers on the floor.

"Levi…. Why…?" tears swelling up in my eyes.

The door opened slowly. Hanji and Nurse Mary exited looking exhausted. I grabbed my crutches, standing up.

"He's been all bandaged, and from the looks of it, he actually was pretty lucky." Nurse Mary told me.

"Lucky? You consider that lucky? Are you fucking blind?" I exclaimed.

"Michelle, calm down." Hanji approached me, but I pushed her away.

"I simply mean that if the ribs had actually broken, we could have had a lung problems which would have been too risky to fix. He's lucky he will survive this. Will just need plenty of recovery time. If you excuse me, I have to help out in the infirmary." Nurse Mary huffed before bowing, and leaving.

My breathing was still uneven, not done talking to her.

"Michelle. He will be okay. Just you see. When he wakes up, it will all be alright." Hanji wrapped her arm around me.

I took a deep breath. My eyes stung from the tears still running down them. She helped me sit back down in the desk's chair.

"I had to get hurt. I just had to leave. He could've needed me. Hanji. We left his group vulnerable. We were supposed to help… And now, He's like this. How is the rest of his squad?"

"They survived with minor injuries."

"Tch."

"You know… You act an awful like Levi sometimes. Down to the little sound he makes when he is disinterested." Hanji chuckled.

I looked away, feeling embarrassed, wiping my eyes.

"He was really worried about the entire time. Hoping you guys had gotten back alright. If you had healed up. He almost pushed the end the mission as soon as you left. He killed at least 20 titans after you had left."

I looked at her, surprised.

"What?" I stuttered.

"You know. I had a feeling that since you have arrived at the Survey Corps, he has been a bit more on edge. I know the past between you two, and how rough things were left on, but he… still cares pretty deeply about you. I'm sure you became aware of that that night you were attacked by Raymond Mayers." My eyes widened, looking at her.

"You… knew about the incident? I thought that only Levi and Erwin knew…" I gripped the chair arms.

"I was made aware of it, after Levi almost beat the guy to death after escorting you to your room. I heard the fight, and had to break it up. After that, he made sure that you never had to do chores at night anymore or had to work alone." Hanji crossed her arms.

I looked down at my lap, more tears fell.

"He's… done all that… for me…?" I stuttered, feeling the start of hiccups in my chest.

_I'm such a crybaby today… _

"He really cares about you."

My eyes shut tight, trying to think of the way Levi held me tightly while flying through the trees.

"And I know that you are about him. I can tell that you are wearing his cape. It's so cute." She chuckled.

The way my heart has been beating out of control every time I thought about him.

"I feel like that you may have had a crush on him to begin with before joining the Survey Corps."

My face turned red, looking up at her.

"Of course not! How could I the way he treated me the moment I stepped into this place! The cold glares, ignoring me, the rude attitude, pushing me away….. There is no way I could have fell for this guy again after all that." I exclaimed.

"Again?" she smirked.

I realized my words. I sat there feeling defeated.

_I had been denying for a year now. The way he made me feel. All those times he had protected me. Kept me safe. He acted like a jerk, but he knew it would keep me safe. He's been hurting inside since Isabel and Farlan's death… And… I couldn't be there for him before… I need to be there for him now…_

"Can I see him?" I asked.

"He isn't awake yet."

I stood up, grabbing my crutches once more. I looked at her, our eyes met.

"Hanji. I didn't ask if he was awake. I asked if I could see him." I said bluntly.

She sighed, shaking her head.

"There is no stopping you. Go ahead. There's a chair set up next to his bed." Hanji went and opened the door for me.

I nodded, walking in. The door shut softly, and I looked over at the bed. I wasn't prepared for the sight in front of me. The lanterns light up the room with a soft glow from the window sill. Levi laid deathly still on the bed, his forehead was wrapped, his jet black hair peeking out of the top. Bandages covered his arms and chest to the waist. The blanket covered the rest of his body. Walking over, I saw his face looked relaxed. Almost… peaceful.

"Oh Levi…." I leaned down to touch his face gently.

His skin was warm.

_You're alive… And I will stay here until you wake up…. _


	20. I'm sorry

_Open fields, the skies so gray, and the rain falling gently from the sky. A thick fog covered the ground, blocking my sight from anything past a meter in front of me. Peering around, I couldn't see anything in sight. No buildings close by. I was dressed in my white blouse and black pants with the 3DM gear. Blades were in the holster. Curious, I took hold of the handles, recalibrating the lines. The canisters were full. _

_**I have to get a handle on where I am… It looks like the fields from the mission…**_

_A scream rang out, meeting my ears. Jerking around, I couldn't see anything. I ran in the direction of the scream, stuffing the handles back into their holsters under my arms._

"_Someone's in trouble." I huffed, begging my legs to run faster. _

_The fog was so thick, the rain slowly picking up speed. The sound of slicing and grunting came from in front of me. As I got closer, I saw a 10 meter titan standing in front of me. Its eyes gleaming a bright green, long hair covering its face. Blood ran down its mouth as I saw a limp body hanging out of its mouth. It was Mika. Fists clenched, I gripped the handles once more, jamming them into the blades to secure two. I flipped them around to run parallel to arms like how I would hold a knife to defend myself, I launched an attack on the titan. Shooting a line into its neck, it whipped around, dropping her body before grabbing onto my lines. _

"_Shit." I hissed. _

_Quickly seeing a tree to my left, I pulled out my lines from its hands before it could fully grab them, I got a line into the tree. Zipping into it, I used all my force to kick off the tree, shooting another line into the titan. _

"_You're going down." I growled. _

_Aiming my blades again, I quickly cut into its nape before returning to the ground. I ran over to Mika's limp body. _

"_Mika, I'm so sorry…" I flipped over her body. _

_Her head rolled to look at me, but… it wasn't Mika. Falling back, my eyes widened. _

"_I…Isabel? What are you.. Oh god." My hand flew to my mouth. _

_Her blue eyes stared back at me, lifeless and in pain. Mouth hung open. Tears ran down my face. The ground began to shake. More titans. _

_**No time to mourn. I have to get out of here. **_

_I got up, trying to see what direction they were coming from. I heard the hissing of lines, running in that direction. Someone zipped in front of me. Suddenly, their line was pulled back, sending them flying. _

"_Hold on!" I yelled, taking off in their direction. _

_I couldn't see where they had went through the thick fog. _

"_I can't see a fucking thing." I huffed. _

_I pushed the wet hair out of my face, trying to focus on one thing. Screams and cries grew louder once more coming from the east. I kept walking, suddenly seeing a black blob moving off in the distance. As I got closer, it got taller, and I realized it was a group of titans. _

_**No…**_

_One looked at me, blood running down its mouth, a limp body hanging from its mouth. The blonde hair was unmistakable. Farlan._

_I closed my eyes back up, placing my hands over my ears. _

"_No… Why…?" I cried out. _

"_Michelle." _

_I turned around seeing Levi standing behind me. _

"_Levi… You're…" I walked towards him. _

"_Get out of here. Before it's too late." _

"_What do you-?" I asked, confused. _

_A titan approached us, Suddenly, Levi pushed me out of the way, I hit the ground hard. _

"_Wait! I can help you!" _

_A hand grabbed Levi, lifting him up. _

"_No!" I screeched. _

_All I saw was red, everything snapped inside of me. The flashing of my blades, and the slashing of skin was all I saw. _

_**No… No!**_

My eyes flew open, and I fell back in the chair, hitting the ground hard. My face was wet, my lungs ragged as I tried to control my breathing.

_Why… Why can't I get any peace….? _

Slowly, resetting the chair, I climbed into it. Levi was still laying there, motionless, though his head had shifted to face me. Reaching my hand out, my fingers just grazing his cheek. My stomach grumbled, wanting me to eat something. Anything. I slumped further down in my chair. Groaning, I grabbed my crutches, standing up slowly. My gaze fell upon Levi's still unconscious body. His face looked relaxed. I couldn't help but focus on the bandages that covered his body. Looking out the window, I saw night had begun to fall over the land. Stars speckled the sky. My eyes felt heavy, wanting to close, but I couldn't bear to sleep. Everything hurt. Any time I had tried to fall asleep, nightmares overtook me.

_Two days and three nights later…. And nothing… Levi please wake up…._

A knock came to the door, making me jump.

"It's me, Hanji."

I sighed, going to the door, opening it. She stood there holding a tray.

"I brought you some food, if you are hungry." She gave me a small smile.

"Thank you Hanji." I smiled back weakly.

I moved, allowing her to enter the room. She set the tray on the table. I sat back down in my chair by Levi.

"How have you been doing?" she asked.

"Fine. He hasn't woken up yet. I'm hoping soon though."

"I see…" she replied.

She walked over to the bed, placing a hand on my shoulder. I looked up at her, seeing a sympathetic look on her face.

"Don't worry Michelle. He will wake up soon." She smiled.

"I hope your right." I sighed.

She left quietly, the door shutting behind her. Tears threatened to rise up in my eyes, but they stung so much. I doubt I could cry any more than I had already. I looked over at the food she had brought in, a small steam coming from the bowl. It had definitely just been made. My stomach began grumbling again, making me clench my dress in my hands.

_Hanji did bring it to me. I should probably eat…_

Walking over to the table, looking down at the food she had brought in. Looked like some potato soup, a few small pieces of bread, and a glass of water. It definitely looked good, but I scrunched up my face, feeling less and less hungry. My eyes drifted back over to Levi. Trudging back over, I scooted the chair closer to the bed. Laying my head in my arms, I tried closing my eyes, but I couldn't help staring at Levi's unmoving face. His chest slowly rose up and down, letting me know he was still breathing. His face was relaxed, not its usual irritated look. Very… peaceful. Every fiber of me wanted him to wake up so bad.

_I can't eat... I might as well get some sleep if he isn't waking up soon. I feel so drained…. _

I closed my eyes again, trying to relax into my arms, using them as a pillow. My body felt so heavy.

"Levi… I'm so sorry…" My eyes shut tightly.

Silence. That's all there ever was. Silence. I was tired of silence.


	21. I'm sorry Pt 2

_**I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! It was originally going to be a part of chapter 20, but I wanted to split it into two chapters so it wasn't too long, and so I could structure it better. Enjoy!**_

Every hour that passed felt like a day. It was probably well into the early morning hours. I managed to eat a small piece of the bread before my stomach decided it couldn't take more. My mind was racing. I felt so much going through my mind. I remember Hanji telling me that even if he wasn't awake, he might be able to hear me talking.

_I would probably look insane talking to someone who's unconscious…_

But… Anything better than this damned silence.

"You know…. This silence is getting a little tiring. I really want to hear your voice."

I grabbed his hand from under the blanket. It was a little cold, but I could feel a small heartbeat coming from the pulse on his wrist. Though, it was hard to tell with his arm being bandaged up to his bicep.

"I… really am sorry, Levi. It's my fault you are like this… You wanted to return with me, but I made you stay out there to fight." I squeezed his hand lightly.

Everything I wanted to say began to rush to my tongue, falling off it quickly as I could talk.

"I… Pushed you away from the beginning. An entire year spent just focused on training. I couldn't take it that you had locked yourself away from me. You hid yourself because you were hurting. You fought to keep me safe while keeping your distance…."

My mind thought back to when he had saved me from Raymond Mayers. The whole week after he had stayed after lunch while to cleaned to escort me back to the dorms. I had been to his office a few times even if I had begun to have a panic attack. Levi kept me calm, but always escorted me back to my friends once my breathing had returned. Looking back now, I could see how he was holding him back… The most he had down was lay a hand on my shoulder, rubbing it gently.

"Every day I came to you… I wanted to march in here and tell you what I was really thinking…. You were the only one in the past that really listened… It seems that every step of the way, you had been there," I chuckled nervously, pushing hair out of my face as a few tears slipping out "Even If I made myself hate you for pushing me away…"

_My head was hurting now. My lungs felt constricted. I didn't like that answer, feeling my stomach rise into my throat. I couldn't speak._

_"Hey, don't have a panic attack on me. It's going to be alright. I'm here."_

_Levi started rubbing my back in small circles. _

_I'm here…_

_I pushed him away, wrapping my arms around me. His touch felt unwanted in the moment, though I regretted it when I pulled away. He gave me a confused look, as I felt the anger rise in my throat._

_"Levi. You were never there. I've been here for about a year…. When was going to be the right time to tell me?! I needed to know… I can't just be left hanging! They were my friends too!"_

_I stood up, heading for the door. My feet hitting the floor boards loudly. My arm was tugged backward, and I looked to see a distraught Levi. His head lowered. His hand squeezed my wrist a bit. I've never seen him so upset. He usually sported a calm scowl when he didn't look mad at everyone. It broke me, seeing him like that. He was hurting like I was…_

_"Let go of me Levi. I can't see you right now."_

_"Don't go." His voice cracked._

The memory slid into my mind, making my heart break. The words just kept cascading out, like a broken water faucet. Anything to fill this damned silence.

"Levi, I don't hate you… I… I miss you. Please… Please… Please... Please… Just wake up goddamn it!" I laid my head on the bed, gripping the sheets as the sobs rocked my body. I couldn't stop shaking. Every part of me felt like my world had come crashing down.

_He wanted to come back… And I told him to stay out there…_

"I should have let you come back with me… I shouldn't have let you go back into Titan Country when you wanted to come back… I'm sorry, Levi, and if I have to say it for the rest of my life until you wake up. I will. I'm so so sorry…" I muttered.

"Anyone ever tell you that you are really loud?"

That voice. The low baritone that sent shivers up my spine. I sat up, a pair of blue-gray eyes staring at me, a look of sympathy and annoyance.

"L-Levi? Levi!" I exclaimed, jumping forward to hug him.

"Careful. I'm still injured." He hissed, slightly pushing me away.

I remembered, feeling horrible, sinking back into my chair.

"Sorry…"

"Could I get some water?" Levi's voice was cracking.

I nodded, grabbing my crutches, heading for the table. I grabbed the water from the tray. Carrying it back over carefully, Levi set himself up onto his elbows. I held the glass as he took small sips, clearing his throat when done. I set it on the window sill, setting myself back down into the chair. His eyes still trained on me. My hands shook slightly, as I rung them together, trying to calm them. My mind as racing wondering how much of my little speech Levi had heard.

"How's the leg?" he asked.

"Better… It's been healing pretty fast. Hanji said the stitches might come out soon. It's getting easier to walk though." I smoothed out my skirt, trying to stay calm.

Suddenly, Levi grabbed my wrist, pulling me forward. I yelped, hitting the bed. Levi's arm wrapped around my shoulder, his other arm grabbing my waist the pull me closer to him. My face turned bright red, trying to comprehend what was happening.

"L-Levi. You're injuries…" I stuttered.

"Nothing but cuts, bruises, and burns. You look like you haven't slept in days. Get some rest." He said softly to me, his voice low, hand running through my messy hair.

It was comforting, almost lulling me to sleep, but I fought to stay away. I tried siting up.

"I should get Hanji, and tell her that you are up. She should check your wounds." I tried to reason, before Levi's grip tightened on me.

"I'll let you know if four eyes comes in. You aren't leaving this bed until you sleep. That's an order."

I sighed, knowing that I couldn't fight him on this. My hand rested on his chest, right over his heart that was beating slightly fast. His other hand covered it, giving my hand a light squeeze.

"Levi."

"Just rest, Michelle." He mumbled into my hair.

I squeezed his hand back.

"I just wanted to say… I'm glad you came back. You worried me."

I made myself comfortable, my heart slowly returning to a steady beat. It was the most relaxed on had been in over a week. My eyes drooped, feeling sleep overtake me. Something pressed against my forehead.

"You worried me too."


End file.
